EyreLines

Eyre Newsletter

2012-01-17T22:54:00.000-08:00

Late for Christmas, but just in time for Chinese New Year!

Stuff Our Kids Say

2012-01-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

12/13/11
Kiran having a nightmare: It's too big, it's too big! The cat. The man.
Mommy: What's too big?"
Kiran: The blanket's too big. The man with the cat put the blanket on my head and he didn't say sorry.
Kiran, after consoling by Mommy: Sometime can we make him come back to our house and say sorry?

12/25/11
Kiran on discovering a three-way light switch: That's confusing; you have to push it down to turn the light on.

12/31/11
Kiran, sharing a room with the already sleeping Jackson after late night New Year's Eve at Uncle Roy's house: Mommy, nobody said 'Who's there?'
Mommy: What?
Kiran: Nobody said 'Who's there?' I said 'Knock, knock' so many times and nobody said 'Who's there?

1/3/12
Jackson, arguing with Kiran: Just let me win! This is the nice thing; letting me win.

1/4/12
Jackson: Clear and blue are the wash away sin Baptist colors.
Me: Huh?
Jackson: For water.
Note: I think he means baptism, not Baptist.

1/10/12
Kiran: (listening to Kid's Praise music in the car) Mommy, I want to follow Jesus.
Clarice: Really. That means you want to be obedient to what He teaches. Are you ready to do that?
Kiran: Yeah. Can you drive me to Jesus so I can follow Him?

Happy New Year!

2012-01-08T22:46:00.001-08:00

After a 6 month hiatus, we're back. Balancing Facebook posts and blogging has been a challenge (along with the rest of real life). But we want to try to be more regular in our posting (OK, Aunt Heather?). So here's to 2012!!

Things Our Kids Say

2012-01-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

We've been posting to Facebook more frequently than Blogspot lately. But Ian and I have decided to post here first for our non-Facebook friends and family.

Conversation with the girl upon picking her up from her first day back at school in the New Year.
Me: So, who did you play with today?
Kiran: Jophes and Mei Mei.
Me: Oh. I didn't know Joseph was back from vacation.
Kiran: He is. But Mei Mei isn't.
Me: I thought you said you played with Mei Mei today.
Kiran: (exasperated) I was just pwetending that Jophes was Mei Mei.
Me: Oh. OK. And did Joseph like it when you pretended he was Mei Mei?
Kiran: (glibly) No. He didn't

Conversation with the boy upon observing dogs being walked in the Botanical Gardens at UCLA
Me: I'd want to take a walk in the garden if I were a dog
Jackson: I'd want to take a walk in the garden if I were a cat....but I wouldn't want to be a cat because you'd chase me.
Me: What?
Jackson: You're a dog, so you'd chase me if I were a cat.

Kiki's Fan Mail

2012-01-08T21:55:00.000-08:00

Kiran received this card in the mail from a friend at daycare.

She is loved!

She's Three!

2011-07-29T00:31:00.001-07:00

Sweet, spunky, thoughtful, stubborn girl.

Father's Day Breakfast

2011-06-19T12:03:00.001-07:00

My Sweetie made yummy strawberry Nutella pancakes this morning.

Then my wife said; "Look at your son's face."

There are days when he's 'our' son but today he's my son. :)

Kiran liked her pancakes, too!

I am so blessed to have such a fun family!

Lenten Commitments

2011-03-09T21:53:00.001-08:00

It's kind of funny. When Lent rolls around, I make the kind of commitments that most people make for the New Year. I guess I feel like I can handle a commitment for 40 days. It's an entire year that I have trouble with. At any rate, I don't think I've been doing this whole Lent thing the "right way" (perhaps it's the lack of a good Catholic background). Instead of fasting of some food item, at some point in the past 10 years or so, I've evolved to giving up habits or undesirable practices (maybe that is the right idea). And now, I'm starting to try to add in desired practices.

So this year, we thought we'd have a conversation with the kids about making sacrifices and trying to pursue the character that Jesus embodies. Here are our family commitments during this season when we prepare to remember the death and resurrection of Jesus...

Ian:
Giving up coffee and political blogs
Adding in Scripture memorization

Me:
Giving up coffee also (because Ian's the one who makes it every morning and it really wouldn't hurt to have less caffeine...and we just ran out of coffee anyway), political blogs (I think I thought of it before Ian did), talk radio (and adding in more edifying listening choices), spoons and flicks (not going to explain)
Adding in more words of affirmation

Jackson:
Giving up hitting Kiran

Kiran:
Giving up "crying Jophes" (not sure what that means, although we think it means that she's going to try to treat her little buddy Joseph a bit better)

And away we go....

Fun with Mirrors

2011-02-16T22:31:00.000-08:00

Our kids love mugging for the camera...or the mirror.

I choose insanity too!

2011-01-23T23:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe there is a touch of insanity to think that you or I could really make a difference in this world.

Knowing who we are and who we are not, and yet still believe we could somehow change the course of human history.

If it's normal to wake up in the morning with our only goal to just make it through the day then I vote for abnormality.

If it's insane to fight against the status quo convinced we can make the world a better place then let's embrace the madness.

Me...I CHOOSE INSANITY

-Mosaic Leadership Advance 2011

When I dream, I only dream as big as I am confident to accomplish something excellently by myself. When I ask to be a part of something God sized I put God in a box. What are the boundaries of my faith? What wont I let God accomplish? Whatever I think God cannot do, I am wrong.

Ephesians 3:20-21 (NASB)
20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, 21 to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

I Choose Insanity

2011-01-23T21:43:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of every year, our church holds a Leadership Advance, where we hear of the theme for the year and plan our goals. We went yesterday for an inspiring, invigorating day. This is the key Scriptural passage for the year:

2 Corinthians 5:11-15

11 Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12 We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13 If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

Our pastor, Erwin, wanted to emphasize the goal of being immersed in the love of God, so crazy in love with Him that it almost seems insane. So the theme for this year....I choose insanity.

I'm generally not that into the idea of choosing insanity. That is, insanity as a medical condition. But this appeals to me. This is not true insanity. It is the kind of life that is not understood by the world we live in, but was the original intent of our Creator. This kind of insanity fits with the desire Ian and I have to pursue the abundant life, to live the way God intended for us to live.

So, even though it seems crazy to me, I am making it a goal to disclose more of my thoughts on this blog, to share what I am learning on my journey toward the abundant life of insanity. And hopefully to gain some feedback about my progress.

I know it sounds crazy, but I choose insanity.

Clarice

The Abundant Life

2011-01-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

Just realized that it has been 4 months since either of us has posted to this blog. It was just a very busy time. Actually, now that it's over and done with, I'd have to say that the whole year was actually a very hard one, one of the hardest in recent memory. It was a year of transition - a very frustrating and prolonged search for a house (that ended up very well), transitions in relationships as many of our friends have moved on to different relational circles, and major changes in work. I think the house hunt and the work challenges made things hard, but experiencing such major shifts in our safety net of community made it all the harder.

The most common thing Ian and I would say to each other throughout the entire year was that we needed a change in our lifestyle. Sleep-deprivation and stress were becoming a bit too familiar and our kids were absorbing some of our stress and acting out in school. The Christmas vacation was therefore a welcome time of rest.

Both Ian and I have had traditions of journaling. Each of us also have a practice of reflecting on the past year during the Christmas break and establishing some goals or a theme for the upcoming year. Toward the end of last year, we started talking about upcoming goals and found that many were similar. That set a direction for my thoughts on a theme.

It was an experience in Atlanta that gave me a mini-revelation on what our theme should be. We decided to attend Ian's parents' church for Christmas Eve service. I grew up in a traditional church setting and, much as I love the cultural relevance of Mosaic's Sunday gatherings, I have moments when I miss the comfort I sometimes feel in an established church. The church we went to on Christmas eve is REALLY traditional - stained glass window, wooden pews, a pulpit up front...even a pipe organ. It felt great to walk in to the smell of clean carpet and coffee and see people dressed in their Sunday best. We dropped our kids off in child care facilities equipped with age-appropriate furniture and picked up candles on our way in to our seats in the balcony of the sanctuary. I was already encouraged by the environment by this time and grew even more excited to see an orchestra set up on the stage. We launched into a number of familiar Christmas hymns, accompanied by talented singers and great orchestral arrangements. I was moving into a reverent mood, certain that the evening would prepare me for an encounter with God.

Then the pastor spoke. He talked about the people who missed the first Christmas and drew some parallels between them and people nowadays who miss Christmas (and Christ). It was a very good message with good reminders about the distractions that can pull me away from God. But something didn't resonate with me. He kept talking about how the reward of becoming a Christian was that we would get to be with God in eternity. I know that's true, but I think there's more to life than waiting until after we die to experience the richness of God. So right there in this beautiful setting with everything designed to focus us on the Christmas message, I had a different passage pop into my mind. It was from John 10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

I quickly found my way to the passage in my Bible to confirm that I remembered it correctly. It burned itself in my mind until I could talk to Ian later that night. He agreed that the idea of the abundant life captured what he also wanted to pursue and so decided to adopt a shared theme for our family for 2011 of "The Abundant Life". We're not quite sure what that means, but we know that God wants us to live better than we have this past year and that we as a family need to be pursing that life here on this earth and not just wait until we're dead to experience abundance. So even though that wasn't quite the message the pastor had, I am so thankful that everything we experienced that night set us up for what we were actually supposed to gain.

So I've been meaning to blog about our theme for the past few weeks. I want to get this thought out there into cyberspace so that the handful of people who read us could hold us accountable to our goal of abundant living. But I just never got around to it.

But something happened tonight to inspire me to blog. We went to church tonight. Our pastor, Erwin McManus, has launched a message series called Narrative. Our church is going through a period of transition and Erwin wanted to start out the beginning of the year by starting over again, sharing his story and the passages that shaped him. And tonight he chose to speak on the same passage, John 10. And the same idea - that this life is supposed to be different when we choose to follow Jesus. It is not guaranteed to be pain-free, but can be shaped by the intimate connection that God offers.

So I am very excited about this year. Ian and I are going to make changes in the way we approach work, exercise, diet, child-rearing, rest, sleep....and whatever else we need to do to experience the abundant life that Jesus wants to offer us. Anyone else with us?

Clarice

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-13T11:52:00.000-08:00

Say goodbye to 2010. It was a great year for the L.A. Eyres. We hope to blog more this year.

Here's our family picture taken by our favorite photographer Emily Allen of Solace Arts.

Our family theme this year is Abundant Life according to Jesus' words in John 10:10b, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." God is good! All the time!

On Being Creative

2010-08-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

I got to be a panelist at a Symposium on Creativity sponsored by my church. I was up there with a film and tv composer, a man who creates large art works in public spaces, and a lawyer who helps the poor access legal services. I got to explain how dentistry is creative...how we apply art to science and science to art...how our work is rooted in an understanding of the amazing creative work of the Creator. It was a blast...and I got to meet two of the dancers from Dancing With the Stars (one of whom complemented me on my creativity).

On Being "Advanced"

2010-06-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

This past Tuesday, pickup time from the daycare was less crazy than usual. So I thought I would take the opportunity to catch up with one of Jackson's teachers.

"How was my boy today?" I asked.

"He had a good day," she replied. Then she perked up a bit. "This morning during circle time, Jackson read the book he brought in to the other children. He read the whole thing."

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "You know, I have noticed him sitting with Kiran and other kids reading to them. But he's reading whole books now?"

Then we launched into a conversation about how we should get him tested since he's so advanced. But I won't write about that lest it be thought that I am bragging about my brilliant son. Just to be clear. Ian and I take no credit. We just think that it's successful outbreeding.

It's rather surprising that he has progressed so quickly. As a two year old, his version of the "ABC" song went "ABABABA, ABABABA, ABABABA, ABABABA, ABABABA, ABABABA." It was tonally correct, but he wasn't at all interested in learning the proper sequence of letters. He shied away from all activities involving writing utensils and paint. By two and a half, he could recognize about 20 car symbols, but only 5 or 6 letters. All of a sudden at three and a half, he started recognizing more letters (and started taking an interest in starfall.com, recommended by my cousin Melanie). And before he turned four he started recognizing some words. Now, a bit after turning four, he reads children's books with fairly good accuracy. The fun thing is that he doesn't read in the monotone manner typical of early readers, but actually reads with inflection. And he really seems to love reading and writing.

At dinner that night, I summarized the conversation with Jackson's teacher for Ian. After affirming Jackson, Ian asked him, "Do any of your other friends know how to read a whole book out loud?"

"No," he replied smugly. "Just me. And the teachers."

Ian beamed.

"Wait a minute," I said, thinking of the five year olds in the class. "What about Julia?"

"Oh," he returned. "Yeah, Julia. She can read. Just Julia and me and the teachers".

"Not even Stella?" Another five year old.

"Oh, yeah. Stella and Julia and me and the teachers."

"How about some of the other bigger kids? LIke Max and Jensen?"

"Oh. (pause) Yeah. A lot of the friends can read a whole book. And the teachers too. The teachers can read a whole book."

I'm rather glad he has become so confident in his success in the area of reading. He has been delayed with potty training and gets a lot of "consequences" and "teacher's choices" at daycare because he has issues with impulse control. Before he discovered his area of strength, he just seemed very edgy. But gaining some mastery over reading has seemed to give him a new sense of accomplishment. He seems more comfortable in his own skin. Certainly less easily frustrated.

So yesterday, Ian picked up the kids. He said the head teacher stopped him and also recommended getting testing for Jackson. So now that's two suggestions by two individuals. To be quite honest, I'm a bit reluctant to go there. You know the scene in Spiderman when Ben Parker is dying and tells Peter, "With great power comes great responsibility"? I'm having these moments when I realize that not only am I responsible for the health and safety and moral development of my kids, but I'm also responsible to help them steward their gifts. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If I don't know what his potential is, I am less responsible. Does that sound right?

Then there's the issue of how Jackson might steward his own gifts. I have this silly little thing I tell people when they ask me what he is like. I like to joke that he'll probably be dictator of a small country....and that I hope it's a tropical country so I can enjoy my visits with him. He's such a strong-minded kid. So the possibility of a really bright, strong-minded kid worries me. What will happen if his moral compass sends him the wrong direction?

I suppose there's not much I can do other than do my best to raise him to look to the humility of Jesus as an example of how to use controlled power to benefit others rather than self.

Ian and I have our work cut out for us. But I think we genuinely look forward to seeing how this all turns out.

Kiran's Babies

2010-06-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

I just spent 30 minutes trying to sooth my crying toddler. We had completed all of our usual nighttime activities without a hitch. Visit the potty, take a bath, put on pajamas, family devotions, mommy time, daddy time, and lights out. But she could not be consoled. She wanted her babies.

This is Baby Colleen.

Most people think it's funny when I tell them that Kiran's first doll, a gift from Grandmum and Granda, is named Colleen. We didn't pick that name. We actually chose the name for her second doll, Baby Gigi, which was a gift from Aunt Elisabeth and Uncle Scott. This is what Baby Gigi used to look like when she was new.

Baby Gigi was named first. Poor Baby Colleen was nameless and ignored for the longest time while Baby Gigi languished in the storage pile under Kiran's crib. I guess Kiran just wasn't ready for dolls the entire time Baby Colleen sat in the corner of her crib. But one day around six months ago, Kiran discovered Baby Gigi's box. She brought it to me with a gleeful look and demanded, "ahpen it". As soon as Baby Gigi was released, Kiran gave her a big hug and said, "mah baby". Since she had finally chosen to bond with a lovey, we figured it had to be personalized. We chose the name Gigi because that was what Kiran was calling herself at the time. She was substituting g's for k's, calling herself Gigi instead of Kiki. Once Baby Gigi became special to her, Baby Colleen got included in the lovefest. Oh yeah. How did she get the name Colleen? A few weeks after Baby Gigi was named, I asked Kiran if her other doll had a name. "Yeah!" she exclaimed. When I asked her the name, she said something that sounded like "Kelleen!". Kelly? "No, Kelleen!". Kaitlyn (her cousin)? "No, Kelleen!" Keilah (another cousin)? "KEL-LEEN!". Then it dawned on me. She was telling me the name of one of her teachers in the daycare. So Baby Colleen joined the family.

It's been fun to watch her care for her babies. Sometimes she'll sit one of them in Jackson's chair at the dining table.

"Baby Gigi. Eating." She'll tell us. "Kiki. Happy."

She loves her babies enough to give them her favorite seat to watch TV (which, of course, happens on extremely rare occasions - the TV watching, not the sacrificial service).

"Baby. TV. Cold. Binket."

And she'll check on her baby occasionally.

"Ah-kay, baby? Ah-kay? Happy? TV?"

Ian and I get a kick out of it.

Except on nights like tonight. When Baby Gigi is at school waiting for Kiki for her daytime nap and Baby Colleen is lost, last seen stuffed into a shoebox by a rambunctious, imaginative older brother. And little mommy is despondent that she doesn't have a baby to hug to sleep.

Fortunately, the big brother understands her plight and will bring her alternate animals to try out and sing songs to try to make her happy once it's clear that big mommy's attempts aren't working.

Itsy Bitsy Spider

2010-06-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

Kiran sings. Check out the hand motions that go with the song.

How Old Are You, Kiran? Part 2

2010-06-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

Revisiting the same question two months later

Perspective on Life

2010-05-16T00:21:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite patients came in for a dental appointment today. I'm guessing it's probably not politically correct to have favorite patients, but I do...just like I proudly have a favorite son and a favorite daughter.

This patient is such a joy to treat. She is almost always smiling and pleasant. Her eyes have a certain peace and light radiating from them. She hugs me when she comes in for her appointments and makes sure to say "thank you" and "goodbye" when she's finished with whatever procedure is going on.

Today, when I went to the waiting room to tell her it was her turn to come back to the treatment area, she clapped and jumped up and down. I asked her if she was excited about coming in for her appointment; she nodded her head vigorously then literally ran back into the operatory. She's nine years old....and she has the mind of a four year old.

She also has mild cerebral palsy, which is manifested in an obvious weakness and lack of coordination of one half of her body. She can't perform all of her daily functions too well so she gets help with brushing her teeth and flossing every night.

Her family is brilliant. Both parents are professors and very accomplished in their fields. She has an older sister who is smart as a whip. I often ponder the kinds of hopes and dreams her parents must have had for her.

I asked what happened. It was part of my normal routine of gathering a medical history. Her mother told me that it all happened during pregnancy. It was a completely normal pregnancy and the baby was pronounced perfectly healthy throughout. Then in the eighth month, for whatever reason, the baby had a stroke. I don't think it's very common. I don't remember how the mom said the doctors figured it out. At any rate, the doctors induced labor and she was born a little early, probably adding insult to injury.

So by some fluke, this chid, who was expected to be perfectly normal....is not. And there was nothing anyone could do about it.

And so I remember this kid sometime when I need a perspective on life. We have so little control over life and this whole process of bringing new lives into this world. We might have prenatal screens and genetic tests and try to make decisions about the value of an unborn life. But we can't predict every little glitch that might occur in life. And it can happen in an instant. A flash, a fluke, and suddenly life isn't what we expected.

I'm sure it's sometimes rough on her family. I once remarked on how happy the child always seemed and her dad slowly said, "well....not always". But there's a real special tenderness the whole family has for this kid. She seems to bring out a goodness in them. So I file that away too. Things happen for a reason. Who am I to try to control that?

So I am reminded again today to remember how precious life and health really are. And even if my little one is starting to get into thirty minute unconsolable crying tantrums as she approaches two years of age, and even if my big boy has regular poo poo accidents and moments of rude defiance, I want to choose gratitude. They're full of life and they're healthy. And there was nothing that I could do to guarantee that.

UPDATED:
I guess God's trying to tell me something. At church today, Pastor Erwin spoke on Ecclesiastes 11:1-6. Verse 5 says:

5 As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed in a mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
the Maker of all things.

No, we don't have control over much of life, but we just need to faithfully invest in the things we know to be right and good and eventually we'll reap a return, in a manner known only to the good and gracious God.

Home, Sweet, Home

2010-05-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

We're in escrow!! After one year of searching, 11 offers (4 times as first backup), and many, many Sundays of open houses, we are moving forward. We feel like this house has been gifted to us. We didn't actually pursue this one. Instead, the listing agent on our 9th offer called us up. We were first backup on that particular home. Both he and the owner really liked us and wanted us to have the home, but there was a better offer. But the agent remembered us and suggested to the owners to offer us the chance to make an offer on this home before it was even listed.

Cute little house built in the 1940's in a family-friendly neighborhood walking distance to both Winchell's donut house and Trader Joe's. Three bedrooms and two baths.

It has its drawbacks. Primarily...it's located here...

...right next to the freeway. It also lacks a garage and a formal dining room, but we can afford it and it's in the boundaries of a great elementary school. So we are thankful and hoping that we can secure a good loan and move forward with no hitches.

Here it is:

Front of the house:

Backyard view from the patio:

Storage shed in backyard:

Studio Office (future home of EyreFilms):

Thank you for journeying with us so far!

Family Portrait

2010-04-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

By Jackson, age 4 years 2 months

How old are you, Kiran?

2010-02-24T23:42:00.001-08:00

She insists that she's two and a half. Does she even know the difference between one and two?

Clarice

New Toy

2010-02-19T01:19:00.000-08:00

Uncle Randy and Auntie Amy gave Jackson a new dream toy for his birthday. He's been enjoying it.

Clarice

Kiran Translation Guide

2010-02-10T19:07:00.001-08:00

Kiran is starting to talk more and more as her primary mode on communication. It's nice to not have to interpret her cries. Unfortunately, we now have to interpret her sounds. Here's a handy guide to what on earth she's trying to say.

mo = more
ah done = all done
moke = milk
wa wa = water
ahsahsah = applesauce
nanny = banana
arage = orange
bad = bread
bad = bed
buddah = pillow
bitten = blanket
doddy = doggy
mao mao = cat
wog = frog
dars = star
moan = moon
eeyoh = ear
eye = eye
mouse = mouth
no = nose
dose = toes
beya buda = belly button
foogung = finger
peesh = please
tee too = thank you
(silence) = sorry
NOOOOOO = sorry
Jah Jah = Jackson
Chee Chee = Kiki

Clarice

Such Silence

2010-02-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

We've been silent on this blog for a while. Lots of stuff going on. Plenty of drafts of blog posts in our heads, but we've had trouble committing to place finger to keyboard. But we know that there are a handful of folks, mainly our relatives, who would like news about our family....actually, our kids, so we'll try to post at least once a month this year.

Clarice

Halloween 09

2009-11-01T23:28:00.000-08:00

Nuff said

Clarice

Grocery Shopping

2009-10-08T00:19:00.001-07:00

We're trying to figure out how to get Kiran to bed early because she often seems so tired. So, one day I offered to take Jackson to Ralph's at 8pm so Kiran could have a quiet evening. Jackson enjoyed helping me choose veggies, fruits and ice-cream using commands from his perch in the shopping cart. Then he typically followed a choice by an opinionated; "I think I'm going to really, really enjoy that. Mmm."

At the check out line he admired the rows and rows of candy, assuming that they all contained yummy choclate. Then he blurted; "When I grow up I'm going to be 28 and then I can have some candy, right Daddy?" I laughed; "Sure, when you turn 28, you can come down here and have some candy. You can have one of each if you want." He said; "I think I'm going to really, really like the candy."

I hope he doesn't grow up until he's 28, although I say that now when he's three and cute.

Ian

Just Being Near Each Other

2009-09-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I witnessed a teeny tiny event that warmed my mother-heart. We were at the passport office. Incidentally, we were there for 2.5 hours, which seemed like an unreasonably long time considering the fact that we actually had an appointment that took us one week to make, in a convoluted process involving a phone call with a million phone menus that resulted in an inconvenient noon appointment time, cutting into work hours and especially small children's nap times, causing fussiness galore in an environment that allowed no cell phones or computer usage to entertain said small children. But that's another story.

Anyway, Jackson spent the better part of our waiting time running in circles in the waiting area. The tiles on the floor were mostly black with white tiles set into diamond patterns. Some older, also impatient, children started the "don't step on the black tiles or you'll die because it's hot lava" game (which I distinctly remember from my own childhood). Jackson was trying to keep up with them, getting burnt by hot lava many, many times. Kiran couldn't keep up with them at all, so she stood in the middle of the hot lava, watching them circle around her.

At some point, Jackson must of gotten tired of being told that his feet were on fire. He walked over to a wall and sat on the floor, using the wall as a back rest. He stared rather vacantly off to the side. Kiran immediately toddled over and sat exactly three feet from him, gazing around in the opposite direction. With absolutely no acknowledgement of her presence, Jackson pulled away from the wall and narrowed the distance to one foot, leaving a little bit of personal space for both of them. Kiran gave a little glance behind her to where Jackson had relocated, lumbered to her hands and feet and backed her little diaper-clad hiney into his shoulder, guiding it down his torso to a very clumsy sitting position right next to him. He looked at her briefly, then put one arm around her shoulder and proceeded to bite the nails on his other hand.

We have so much drama in our lives sometimes, trying to demonstrate love to both children. One of my big fears is that my kids will not have a loving relationship with each other. But they really seem to enjoy just being near each other. No matter how many times he knocks her off her feet or pushes her or kisses her with his teeth, she still seeks him out. No matter how many times she steals away his limelight for something so simple as walking or steals his toys or gets the ideal daycare dropoff/pickup time, he still seeks her out.

It's a beautiful thing that starts most mornings. When he awakes, he usually plays independently until we go in their room to begin the morning process. Quite invariably, he ends up right next to her crib. And this morning, we were awakened by the sound of her calling him. "Dacksee. Dacksee." He heeded her call. When I asked him why he was sitting next to her crib, he said, "because she called me. She pointed at me and said 'Jackson', so I came over."

It makes me happy. It makes me worry less about their future without Ian and myself. Because if they like just being near each other now, I can hope they'll still look to each other when the inevitable occurs and we leave our responsibilities as their caretakers. They'll have each other.

Clarice

On Doubt

2009-08-31T22:02:00.000-07:00

I had a very interesting experience nearly two months ago that I can't quite shake from my memory. I was on jury duty. Not just sitting in the jury assembly room, which is how I've served in the past. I was actually one of the 12 jurors on a criminal case. I can't give any of the details of the case. But I can say that I think it is incredible that we have, in this country, a system that respects its citizens enough to put one individual's guilt or innocence in the judgment of his/her peers. Sure, the system ain't perfect, but what it communicates about the founders' value for its citizenry is phenomenal.

It was a truly fascinating experience for the first 3 days. Jury selection, the presentation of evidence, witness testimony... Then we got to jury deliberations. We started out 7 to 5 on the verdict. By the end of the first hour of deliberations, we were at 8 to 2 with 2 undecided, leaning toward the majority. We took the weekend off and one of the undecideds, namely me, converted to the majority after being alone with my thoughts. By Monday morning, another undecided had converted to the majority and the process of deliberating made me more and more certain that the majority had the right decision. But the holdouts weren't persuaded. We were getting frustrated by mid-morning so we told the judge that we couldn't come to a decision and wanted to know what was next. He sent us back into deliberations, suggesting that we hadn't deliberated enough. So we went back in and kept working at it until lunchtime. Right after our lunch break, another undecided switched to the majority opinion and began confidently trying to persuade the holdout.

And this is where it got frustrating. "I have doubts", juror #11 indicated. The majority affirmed #11's doubts. "It's okay to have doubts, but are they reasonable?" we pleaded. "What about this? And this? And this?" #11 asked. We countered each argument with logic and with emotion, with metaphors and personal life examples. But he was stuck. But worst of all was his attitude about it. There was a certain lack of humility. He mocked the attorneys...the witnesses...even us. He was rude -interrupting us, shouting over us, chiding us for our conclusions about the evidence. He said he wasn't the type to jump to hasty conclusions, suggesting that the remaining 11 of us had. Ultimately, he was adamant that he didn't, and even couldn't, believe the testimonies given as evidence. His reason for disbelief - he didn't think he had the ability to see what the witnesses saw, therefore the witnesses couldn't possibly have seen it, despite the entirely different occupational training the witnesses had. Nothing could convince him that the witnesses had demonstrated their trustworthiness nor could be taken at their word. So he stood his ground. He looked at the rest of us and concluded, "maybe you guys are willing to look at this as a game, but I can't ruin someone's life based on something I can't believe." That kind of hurt, because the rest of us were also aware of the implications of our decision.

So we rang the bailiff, who led us back into the courtroom to deliver our verdict. Hung jury. 11 to 1. I mourned the loss of citizen time, taxpayer money, and the simple fact that one person's doubt could hijack what I thought was justice. The judge thanked us for our service and released us, saying that both attorneys would be available afterward to answer any questions.

We filed out into the hallway. Eleven of us huddled together. It was an intense experience and we just needed to debrief and mourn together. I personally wasn't planning to talk to either of the attorneys, but the Assistant District Attorney who was prosecuting the case saw us all there and came over. She thanked us in a very congenial and understanding way. We all beat around the bush a bit, then somebody had the boldness to ask her a direct question about the case. Of course, I can't divulge more, but I can say that what she told us clarified everything entirely. There were hints throughout the trial of the conclusion she revealed to us, but because she was bound by the laws of the court, she couldn't reveal those facts in court. And Juror #11? He very clearly saw us gathered around the Assistant DA. I waved him over, being one of the few people he was willing to talk to, but he just waved a goodbye, stepped into the elevator, and was gone.

I guess the reason that I can't shake this event is because there are hints of the eternal here. First, I was so impressed that the significant figures in this experience played by the rules. They could have broken the rules of the court to align the decision of the jury with what they knew to be true. But they didn't. And I think the Creator has been gracious enough to do the same. He could break His own rules to give us everything we need to cast aside all doubt and just believe. But He doesn't. I really don't think we can handle the whole truth. But I think there are hints of truth strewn throughout our life experience. We just have to learn to interpret them. And we have to trust that the other people we journey with in this life are also interpreting their hints appropriately so that the aggregate gives us a bigger picture of the backstory to be revealed. And I think we need humility. Because without humility, doubt becomes an insurmountable hurdle to accessing truth.

Clarice

Learning To Read

2009-08-23T01:09:00.000-07:00

Jackson has been working on his reading skills. He knows all the upper case letters, almost all of the lower case letter, and most of the sounds that the letters make. So we've been helping him out. When he points to words and asks us what the words say, we try to help him sound things out.

Last week as we were driving home, Jackson decided to read his beloved "Cars & Trucks" book, given to him by his Aunt E. He started out by calling out the letters he recognized. I heard him say "J-A-C-K. Mommy, only fwee more letter and it's my name!" I thought that was rather clever and glanced back at the book to verify his declaration. Sure enough...

I was rather impressed that...a) he knew how to spell his own name and b) he could on to determine that there were 3 letters missing to spell his name.

Excited to see part of his name in one of his favorite books, he tried reading some more. I heard him excitedly sound out "pah, ih, kah, uh, pah. Pickup! Mommy, this says pickup!" So I glanced back again to verify.

Close.

Clarice

An Ode to Aunt Sandra

2009-08-06T21:35:00.000-07:00

We have a friend who hosts very innovative birthday gatherings. Last year, she hosted a "mustache party" in which all attendees were encouraged to either grow mustaches (if chromosomally capable) or wear a fake mustache, which she kindly affixed to her invitations.

This year, she decided to host a poetry reading party to which invitees were encouraged to bring poorly written poetry for public reading. So in honor of Aunt Sandra's birthday, Jackson helped me write a poem. I'll let you judge whether is counts as being poorly written. And I'll let you decide which portions Jackson wrote and which I can take credit for.

Happy Birthday, Auntie Sandra
I hope you had a lot of pandra
And pancakes
And blueberries
And strawberries
And raspberries
I hope you had a special day
And did some baking by the bay
I did some baking on top of this tow truck
And, uh, I love you pochuck!

Not quite iambic pentameter, but at least it rhymed.

Clarice

Spelling

2009-07-20T23:34:00.000-07:00

Jackson's been working on his letters lately. He can recognize almost all of the letters with great confidence and can write about half of the letters with some prompting. But we didn't think he had grasped the concept of spelling yet.

So tonight I was pleasantly surprised. We were talking about what he should write on a note to a friend. He told me what he wanted to write, then excitedly exclaimed, "And then I write Love, J-A-C-K.......ummmmm." I wasn't expecting him to make it that far, so I only wanted to offer a hint. "What goes ssssss?" "Oh! I know!" he exclaimed. "Snake-K-R".

It's a start.

Clarice

Kiran's surgery

2009-07-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, Kiran had ear tubes installed in both her eardrums. Sounds like a factory recall, but when your little girl gets an ear infection on average of once a month and spends a third of her life this year on antibiotics, which research is starting to link possibly to tooth enamel defects, you have to ask for help.

Clarice wanted to be present for the surgery, and I wanted her to be there since she is the medical professional in our family. Remarkably, thanks God, she was going to be able to squeeze it in before fleeing to her jury duty appointment at 10:30. We agreed that I would take Kiran in for 7:30 am check in and Clarice would leave home a bit later, drop Jackson off at daycare at a more reasonable 8:30, and then join us. The scheduled surgery was 9 am and therefore Kiran was not to have any fluids more than two hours prior. Hoping she would stay asleep, I scooped up the sleeping beauty at 7am and carried her to the car. But she awakened and became her cheerful, non-drowsy self, so I gave her a sip of water.

Arriving perfectly on time, I signed in and enjoyed Kiran climbing all over me and the chairs in the lobby. Then a nurse came out to collect the first patient of the day, a little girl who had already checked in but was not in the lobby. Apparently, her parents took her out into the hallway to distract her and they could not be reached by page. So, the nurse decided to take Kiran instead, an hour early!

Thus, a whirlwind of activity began that I was not quite prepared for. Within moments I was introduced to an anesthesiologist and asked questions about allergies, etc. I have a blurry memory of all the instructions I was given and people I met. I recognized the surgeon and said hello. The main point I remember was a description of the effect the sleeping gas would have on Kiran; that she would struggle for about a minute and then her eyes would roll back in her head and she'd be out. Knowing that Kiran was not supposed to have fluids in her tummy for fear they would come up and aspirate her, I secretly hoped that they would be forced to wait until Clarice arrived. I managed to call Clarice and alert her to the possible advanced schedule, but there was not much she could do to speed up her arrival.

Approval to commence suddenly happened and I was asked to sit next to the operating table and hold Kiran in my lap. A mask was held over her mouth and nose and when I caught a whiff of the pungent odor I joked about passing out myself and falling off the swivel chair. Kiran turned red in the face and panicked and I did my best to offer soothing talk and strokes to calm her. Then she went limp and the team instructed me to help lay her on the table and then I could go to the waiting area. At this point I felt totally helpless. Here was my little girl, unconscious, looking puffy in the face with tubes going everywhere. I was reluctant to leave so quickly and someone suggested I kiss Kiran on the forehead. The suggestion struck me because I couldn't believe someone had to tell me to do that. I'd been kissing her on the top of her head, but once she was out I kinda thought there was no more point to soothing words and touch. The request to kiss her one last time was haunting and surreal. Fortunately they continued to suggest actions that my body listened to, since I was not apparently able to give myself gross motor instructions. The surgeon told me that Kiran would be out of surgery in five or ten minutes and I expressed wonder and delight that the ordeal would be so short.

I found a magazine to read but could hardly focus on the article I chose. My heart raced, my body wanted to shudder and tears welled up in my eyes. I don't know how to express it, but I was dazed and alone all of a sudden, totally out of my element and comfort zone. Just writing this is making me cry all over again. It was so sad for me, giving Kiran over to the doctors and nurses and trusting them with her one-year old life.

And then I was escorted into a recovery room and Kiran was crying unconsolably and I held her tight and helped her cope with the obvious confusion. After about twenty minutes of pathetic wailing, she took her still warm milk bottle and began to calm down. So did I. Clarice arrived shortly thereafter and Kiran wanted to be held by her and not by me. Life quickly returned to normal and the little girl fell asleep in my car to wake up a perfectly happy little girl that I enjoyed for the rest of the day. Thank you medical team for taking such good care of my little sugar booger. Thank you God for being the Great Physician and loving us so much!

So no more ear infections, and I hope no more surgeries for any of my family. How Clarice must have felt when I experienced a concussion five days after our honeymoon and ankle surgery three weeks later. It's so much easier to deal with one's own ordeals than watch a loved one experience them.

Ian

"I have a bug"

2009-06-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

Ian's been a bit under the weather the past few days. Surprisingly, neither of the kids appear to have given him this latest illness. To prevent the unusual circumstance of the viral pathway actually reversing its normal direction, we've been practicing a bit of respiratory hygiene. So I handled all of the food distribution at dinner time last night. But Jackson, accustomed to getting service from both of us, got a bit confused as to why Daddy was refusing to peel his orange.

"I can't touch your food today," Ian explained to him. "I have a bug and we don't want you to catch it."

"Ohhhhhh," he agreed knowingly. "Like when Patrick was in the big yard last week and a buzzy bee sat on his shoulder and Mi-ko said don't touch it and it fly away."

Ummmm...yeah. Exactly like that.

Funny, funny kid.

Clarice

When Life Events Collide

2009-06-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

I've been riveted by the news from Iran. I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps it's because this uprising reminds me of the events of Tiananmen Square 20 years ago, when I woke to the idea that the human spirit yearns for freedom. I've come to understand that it's actually a spiritual freedom that we long for more than political freedom. But I think that until an individual can recognize this internal freedom, external freedom is much easier to identify and pursue.

Perhaps the events occurring in Tehran are a sign of the groanings of the earth under the weight of the consequences of human action. I had this intuition after the events of 9/11. I wonder at the connection between these seemingly disparate events. And I wonder what kind of beauty the Creator desires to bring out of the ashes at this time. And how we might intercede to facilitate it.

I just can't put my finger on why my attention has been drawn to Iran.

But this is where life events collide. Over a year ago Ian traveled to the Middle East to work on a movie, The Stoning of Soraya M.

Release of the movie has been delayed multiple times, but has finally been set for June 26. It's based on the true story of an innocent Iranian woman who is framed for an offense so that her husband can be free to marry another woman. Ian and I found out about the release date pretty much the same night we started hearing the news from Iran. And we both had the thought that this was a remarkable connection.

I guess we're not the only ones. The star of the film, Shohreh Aghdashloo, with whom Ian worked, was recently interviewed regarding the connection between the events depicted in the film and the events occurring right now.

So as I sit here blogging, coincidentally wearing my crew t-shirt for the movie, I think of the young Iranians who are protesting their oppression, and pray for a more divine release from oppression.

Clarice

Jackson Prays

2009-06-08T23:49:00.000-07:00

A bit after Kiran was born, Ian decided to start a family tradition, modeled on his own family. So every night after the kids bathe, we all gather around the large papasan chair in the kids' room and read one Bible story, ask Jackson what he would like to pray for, and then pray together. So for almost a year, we've been taking turns praying out loud for Jackson and Kiran to hear.

Over the past month, Jackson has been rather unfocused with the whole process of talking about what to pray for. In fact, he's been downright uninterested. But for whatever reason, he stayed focused tonight. When we asked him what he wanted to pray for, he began listing some things, "trucks, cars, friends, the big blue chair, family 'votions, the map..." "What about your sister?" Ian suggested, "Remember how she's been sick?" (with her 5th ear infection in as many months). Then, as he often does, Ian asked Jackson if he would like to pray. Usually, Jackson refuses, volunteering Ian or myself. But tonight, he decided to pray:

"Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for... all those things we talked about. Thank you for family 'votions. And pray for my sister...um...ear infection. Make...um...she get better. Pray for the.....the....the.....blelelellelel. Pray for my bed, and Kiran's bed, and mommydaddy's bed. Um........ InJesusnamewesomefing. AMEN!!"

Well. It's a start.

Clarice

The sweetest thing...

2009-05-28T21:02:00.001-07:00

It happens quite often.

Two chubby hands joined affectionately.

Jackson Sings Happy Birthday

2009-05-07T21:43:00.001-07:00

It was my mom's birthday last week. So Jackson sent some birthday greetings.

Filthy Little Street Urchin

2009-05-07T21:33:00.001-07:00

Kiran's eating finger foods now. That means she has to try to get food from her tray to her mouth. Sometimes it makes it into her mouth. Most of the time she gets pretty filthy.

She's also learning how to move around. Problem is, she hasn't mastered crawling yet. So she's doing this inchworm/commando crawl. And she loves being outside at school. The ground outside doesn't get the nightly bleach applications standard of the floor inside.

That was a brand new shirt this morning.

Sometimes after we bring her home from school, we just want to throw her in the washer.

She thinks that's a funny idea too.

Clarice

Does he look like Tom Selleck?

2009-04-13T17:56:00.000-07:00

A stunt coordinator for whom Ian has worked is coordinating an action comedy featuring Tom Selleck. Since Ian is the same height as Magnum PI, he decided to remind the coordinator that he could possibly double Mr Three Men and Baby. What do you think?

Clarice

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T21:35:00.000-07:00

Now that Jackson is getting older, we are attempting to get him more involved in the special events that we remember. So this year we decided to decorate Easter Eggs on good Friday.

Not bad for a 3 year old...and a set of parents.

We dressed Kiran up in her Easter finest (thanks, Aunt Amy!)

Not sure how she liked being in a dress.

Kiran got dropped off at children's church so that Ian and I got to sit through a full church service...the first time since Kiran was born. And it was a refreshing one!

Jackson got to hear the Easter story at children's church and had an art activity to remember the day.

We tried to take a family picture to mark the day. This was the best we could get using our tripod.

We had a very....unique Easter dinner.

Jackson showed us some of the bounty he picked up in his Easter egg hunt at church.

Then he got to enjoy the special surprise that Tia Ceci from Mommy's work gave him.

He liked that part.

Happy Easter!!

Clarice

Kiran's New Tricks

2009-04-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

Here's our little one at 8 months of age performing most of her recent tricks.

Clarice

Mommy, We're Snuggling

2009-04-08T22:12:00.000-07:00

I was in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast when Jackson called out to me. "Mommy, we're snuggling", he declared. And this is how I found them...

...enjoying some TV time together. Big brother and little sister.

Clarice

A Trip to Chuck E. Cheese

2009-02-17T23:09:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was President's Day. We had the day off work and daycare was closed so on Sunday we made plans to go to the Grove with another family. We told Jackson of our plans on Sunday night so he would have something to look forward to in the morning. He got excited, talking about the fountain (a smaller version of the one in front of Bellagio in Las Vegas), the trolley, and the various toy shops.

When we awoke on Monday morning the sky was dark and rain poured in torrents. Since the Grove is an outdoor shopping center, we knew there was no chance of going. We talked to the other family, canceling our original plans, and made an alternate plan to enjoy our family time at home. We ended up watching a movie together and taking a short post-nap walk around the block when the rain stopped.

But just when we were planning to get dinner ready, Jackson had a mini-meltdown. "I want to go to the Gwove! When are we going to the Gwove!" I was amazed that he remembered. We didn't mention a word about it once we canceled our plans. "I'm sorry," I told him, "we couldn't go because it was raining this morning. We'll go some other time." He was inconsolable. I realized that he had probably been waiting all day long to go to one of his favorite places. And I felt like this was a dilemma to work through. Ian and I have been wanting to let our no's be no's. We want to be clear with our boundaries and let him know that we can't be manipulated when it's important. But at the same time, we also want Jackson to understand that our yeses mean yes. We want him to know that our words can be trusted.

So Ian and I conferred for a moment and tried to think of a fun indoor place where we could grab a bite to eat. After running through a few options, I had an inspiration. Wasn't Chuck E. Cheese supposed to be heaven on earth for little kids? I didn't know. I had never been there. We did some online sleuthing and made a plan to head down to the nearest location, just 5.4 miles away.

I was a bit overwhelmed when we arrived. Kids everywhere. Games everywhere. Noise. Jackson was so incredibly happy. He ran from activity to activity, calling out to us to come and see what he had found. We ordered our food, got some game tokens, and followed Jackson around feeding tokens to whatever game caught his fancy.

When our dinner arrived we sat down and ate. Ian was looking contemplative, and Jackson's gaze was captured by the flashing lights and buzzing sounds all around us. Kiran was happily sucking her knuckles so I was alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe I was there. I couldn't believe we just made up an impromptu plan to bring Jackson to a place that many families reserve for very special occasions.

Then Ian piped up. "Did you eat out much when you were a kid?" He was on the same train of thought I was. We both grew up experiencing some financially tough times. Both of us remember having mostly home-cooked meals, with meals out only on special occasions (and only Chinese food and Red Lobster all-you-can-eat crab specials for us). We learned to think of meals out as luxuries and enjoyed them as such. But our current lifestyle hasn't been like that. We eat out quite often - at some pretty nice restaurants. And we enjoy traveling and some of the finer things in life (like massages and spa days).

And so we rejoiced in how blessed we are that an impromptu trip to Chuck E. Cheese can take place without concern to budget. But we desire to also convey gratitude so that our children don't take these things for granted. ...and don't expect that any random day will end up with a trip to Chuck E. Cheese.

Clarice

After Lights Out

2009-02-17T22:32:00.000-08:00

I have fond memories of those bedtime moments stolen after lights out but before slumber would arrive.

Before I married Ian, I actually shared a bedroom with a roommate, Cal, who loved philosophizing about everything and nothing as much as I did. We shared many a late night pondering the mysteries of the universe in our shared bedroom.

And I remember sharing a bedroom with two other girls in college. We would giggle about who liked whom and who was dating whom.

And of course there were the nights during church youth retreats where dozens of girls in sleeping bags would whisper their secrets into the darkened ceilings of a communal cabin.

I can even include a short period sharing a room with my younger brother when my grandparents were staying with us. Who knows what we talked about, being separated by gender and 4 years. But I remember significant moments lying in our side-by-side twin beds with only inches of walking space surrounding us, trying to reconcile our separate lives as little league star and honor roll geek.

Such intimate, fun, memorable moments.

I didn't expect to witness my children engaging in such moments until well into the tween years, but it happened last night. Both kids were lying in their beds awaiting slumber, a bit unhappy about being unable to play or be held. Kiran started whimpering from her crib in the corner of the room. Jackson made some funny little sound from across the room. She laughed - that sweet little baby chuckle. That must have encouraged him because he made another little sound. She giggled in response, prompting his own laughing fit. Before long, the two of them were just giggling together. Ian and I just listened from outside their door, enjoying their shared moment. I wanted to grab a videocamera to capture the moment, but I didn't want to miss the moment myself either. So I'll just have to remember the delightful sound of the infant and the toddler sharing a moment of laughter after lights out.

Clarice

What happened to your face?

2009-02-11T22:25:00.000-08:00

Last month I went to pick Jackson up from daycare. As I looked across the room, I could see that his cute little face had been marred by some activity during the day. He ran over to greet me. After I hugged him, I asked "What happened to your face, Jackson?" He got very serious at this point. "Mi-ko scwatched me". "You got scratched?" I asked. "Yeah. Mi-ko. He scwatch my face."

No signs of a scratch on his face. But I lifted him up to a mirror so he could see for himself what I was talking about.

"Oh," he said, "I need a towel."

The dry erase board outside his classroom indicated that they had done some painting in the morning. How did he go the whole day looking like that?

Clarice

The "I want" cry

2009-02-11T22:02:00.000-08:00

It's been so interesting going through infancy this second time around. We're much more relaxed and comfortable. We're also far more in tune to Kiran's needs than we were to Jackson's in the early days. In fact, a few months ago, Ian and I were bragging about how Kiran didn't cry much. I think we had learned really quickly how to recognize her needs and her way of communicating needs. Up to about 5 months of age, it's pretty simple. They need to eat, to be burped, to sleep, to have their diapers changed, and to be held. That's about it.

Then about a month ago, the honeymoon ended somewhat. She started crying at bedtime. It was so easy before. She would yawn twice, we would put her in her bassinet. If she turned to her right and started sucking her thumb, we knew it was safe to let her fall asleep on her own. If she started crying, we would feed her a bit, then try again. But this crying thing.....

I should have known it was coming. She started getting social around then and looking around for us. I think the crying at bedtime was basically because she didn't want to go to bed. She wanted to be with us. Jackson specialized in this "I don't want to" cry. It was pathetic. He would stand there in his crib and cry at the top of his lungs. But as soon as we walked back in the room, he was all sunshine and smiles. Come to think of it, he still specializes in the "I don't want to" cry. If it's time to wash hands for dinner, or clean up after dinner, or go visit the potty, or get in the bath, or get out of the bath, or change his diaper, or put on his pajamas.... It's a very loud "EEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh", kind of like the sound you hear when a big rig slows down. It's sometimes accompanied by jumping up and down or a rapid stomping-in-place dance, kinda like what Jennifer Beals did in Flashdance. Once in a while we get the throw-the-body-on-the-floor trick. We know the "I don't want to" cry. It's a part of our life with our stubborn....er, uh...very determined and resolute boy.

But a couple of days ago, Kiran introduced us to something new. She was happily playing with a toy when another infant crawled over and took it out of her hands. She ramped up slowly, then looked at me with a hurt look on her face, and unleashed one of the most heart-rending cries I'd heard from her. The whole room of parents we were visiting with stopped for a moment and stared. It was nothing like an "I need" cry or and "I don't want to" cry. We are now faced with the fact that our little girl has a profoundly manipulative "I want" cry. I guess we're going to have to steel ourselves for life with a little girl.

Clarice

A Dangerous Moment

2009-02-07T23:00:00.000-08:00

We've been trying to teach Jackson to be safe. He's not allowed off the sidewalk. He has to hold hands to cross the street. He has to check both ways before we cross. And if there's a car coming, he has to make sure the driver can see him. We've been working so hard at teaching him these street safety rules. Most of the time he remembers these rules.

Well we had a dangerous moment this afternoon. Somehow Jackson ended up riding his tricycle down the middle of the street. Ian just happened to have a camera rolling.

OK. Just kidding. Ian was messing around with greenscreen effects. Funny, huh?

Clarice

Who says dentistry is a boring profession?

2009-02-06T22:57:00.000-08:00

This video has gone viral. Over 4 million hits in a week.

Yup. Sometimes we need a little pharmacological assistance to help us treat kids.

Clarice

Legacy

2009-02-06T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm doing a study through the Bible on the word "lead" and I recently read Numbers 2 where the twelve tribes of Israel are assigned camp positions around the tent of meeting. Each tribe is headed by a leader of the sons of the twelve fathers. These twelve patriarchs lived over 400 years prior and yet they passed on family legacies that exist today.

I think about my role as leader of two children of Eyre, my boy Jackson and my girl Kiran, and I think about the other sons and daughters of Eyre and Law and the legacies that have been passed down to my kids through my wife's family and mine. My dad was a lay pastor and his dad was a pastor. Both my parents are prayer warriors and now missionaries. My mom's parents were first generation Christians. Clarice's parents are third generation Christians that originated in small villages in China and Hong Kong. God has blessed our kids with a strong Christian heritage.

As I consider how to pray for Jackson and Kiran and their future children, I wonder exactly how their grandparents and great-grandparents prayed for them. I know that the blessings in my life, the relational riches especially, are a result of the faithful prayers of previous generations.

I desire to only pass on blessings and promise, not generational sins and hang-ups. I desire to teach my children how to follow Jesus Christ with all their hearts, minds, souls and strength. With Christ and the answered prayers of so many before us, Clarice and I can give our kids a great spiritual legacy!

Look who's excited about eating

2009-02-05T21:42:00.001-08:00

Here's daddy introducing her to her first "solid" meal. It only took a few spoonfuls before she got the hang of it.

Clarice

It's a great day!

2009-01-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

I woke up yesterday a bit melancholic. I've been thinking of how bittersweet it must be for President Bush to be ending his years in office. In the 7 years since 9/11, other countries have had horrific attacks at the hands of terrorists, but we have remained safe. Many on the African continent credit him for contributing more to the fight against HIV/AIDS than any other American President. And Iraq is on its way to democratic freedom. Yet he has endured such vitriol from his critics. Although I have been quite disappointed in many of his decisions, I feel for the guy. And I admire the fact that no matter how vile the criticisms have been, he has not deigned to return tit for tat. He has managed to be rather gracious in how he treats the media and other critics.

The melancholic mood continued as I heard excerpts of Obama's inaugural address. He said many encouraging things, yet at the same time, included many thinly veiled jabs at President Bush. I understood that criticism of Bush was all part of the campaign process, to distinguish how he would bring change. But I didn't think it was necessary in an inaugural address. It just didn't seem Presidential.

So I entered work stewing a bit. But then the first person I encountered was one of my colleagues, who wears his bleeding heart liberal convictions not just on his sleeve, but across his forehead. He was absolutely beaming as he bounced down the hall toward me. "Happy Inauguration Day!" he declared. Taken by surprise, I returned, "It's a historic day," because I truly believed it was. "No," he replied, "It's a GREAT day!" And he continued merrily along his way.

All day I took in the excitement of the people around me, particularly those who are underrepresented minorities in the dental school. And as I took my usual news break at lunch time, I was pleasantly surprised by how positive the conservative blogsphere was about the historicity of this event. And so I started focusing more on the mere fact that this country, which is reported to be hindered in some ways by the stain of slavery, just swore in a black President. I started telling myself that it WAS a great day. Now don't get me wrong. I still have some serious reservations about some of President Obama's policy stances, particularly that of the Freedom of Choice Act. But those reservations are irrelevant to his race. I am hopeful that this moment in history will communicate something significant about the attitudes Americans have about race and that we can start putting the past (and some aspects of the present) behind us to move into the future that this election has hinted at.

At the end of the work day, I made my way down the hall toward my parking lot and heard the familiar jovial greeting of the elderly black gentleman who collects my trash. "Hello Dr Clare," he drawled, as is his habit. "Hello, Mr Jackson. It's a great day, isn't it?" I offered instinctively without stopping to consider to whom I was speaking. "Yes it is," he replied, flashing a demurely triumphant smile. And I was so glad that my greeting had come without pretense.

Clarice

My President

2009-01-20T10:03:00.001-08:00

Congrats to Obama on becoming my president. According to Romans 13, God has placed him in this position of authority. I pray for him regularly, especially for his journey as a Christian and his search for a church for his family to worship at in Washington. I pray for his family as they find new friends and community in their new environment. I have many doubts, but I'm also hopeful and expectant, trusting in God foremost and the power of the checks and balances built into our government process to limit the most extreme policies. I will give him the benefit of the doubt because I believe he is teachable and has a desire to let God transform him daily into a person more like His son Jesus. God bless you Mr. President and God bless America.

Bringing in the New Year

2009-01-05T22:12:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!

We celebrated the New Year in Atlanta for the third year in a row. Spending New Year's Eve on Eastern Standard Time is always interesting when dealing with a young child. Jackson usually goes to bed around 9:00 PM at home. He also has a hard time with changes in time zones. I don't remember being allowed to stay up to bring in the New Year until I was around 8 or 9 years old. Since Jackson keeps himself on Pacific Time while we visit Ian's parents, he has been up to celebrate the New Year with us every single New Year's Eve of his young life.

We figured we should have some evidence of this feat for posterity.

Clarice

Pretty in Pink

2008-12-16T23:20:00.001-08:00

Thanks, Auntie Mich, for the hat.
Thanks, Ms Moore-Miller, for the blanket.
Thanks, Harper Jo, for the overalls and socks.
Thanks, cousin Keilah, for the shirt.
Thanks, God, for the cheery smile.
And finally, thanks, Target, for the diaper.

Blessed

2008-12-15T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today was my birthday.

I'm getting old enough that I don't really need to celebrate. And, much as I love going out to eat, the kids complicate things enough that I preferred staying home for a simple dinner with my nuclear family tonight. It was a peaceful, relaxing evening. And my husband bought me the perfect gift. He figured out a little luxury that I would really appreciate.

But the part that warmed my heart was receiving text messages and email messages wishing me happy birthday. They came from all over the state (and two from the other side of the world) from people whom I love, but don't keep up with as much as I would like. I felt blessed that they remembered my birthday and took the time to send birthday greetings. Thank you, my friends and family, for blessing me with your well wishes!

Clarice

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

2008-11-23T21:58:00.000-08:00

Our family has been in a self-imposed quarantine state since this morning.

Last night Jackson handily returned his half-eaten dinner into his plate. He quite literally tossed his crackers. At first we thought he had just gagged after overstuffing his mouth with goldfish. Then we wondered if maybe he had eaten something bad during the day since the remnants had a sour milk stench to it. But by the time midnight rolled around, we were wondering if he had the nastiest of all viruses - the stomach flu. What evidence would suggest that, you ask? More signs of dinner (and the after-purge replacement snack we gave him) making its reappearance on his bed, his pajamas, and the bucket we rushed next to his bed. Twice more.

So we decided that we would play it safe and not go to church and run the risk of potentially infecting others if it was viral in origin. I emailed the hosts of our Sunday evening small group to let them know not to expect us, moved Kiran out of Jackson's room, and climbed into bed with Ian nervously awaiting more of the same.

The night was blissfully uninterrupted, causing us to lean toward a diagnosis of food poisoning, but we still planned to stay home the rest of the day. Then I checked my email. It turned out that some friends Jackson had visited with on Thursday night were similarly affected - both adults had taken ill. With that information we felt safe in diagnosing him with the stomach flu. But we didn't feel safe at all. That meant we had most likely been exposed to the same virus.

It's been a rather surreal day. It was quite enjoyable not having an agenda. We watched "Cars", which Jackson finally earned after going to the potty 24 times. And we cleaned a bit, since we had an incentive to get the carpet under the dinner table clean. But the entire day was undergirded by a sense of doom. We were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Wondering if and when one or all of the rest of us would succumb to the stomach flu. Every time Ian would move toward the bathroom, I would wonder if the time had come. And as I took my Sunday afternoon nap, he heard the gurgles of my stomach and wondered if I was the next victim.

So far so good. Another 24 hours or so and we'll know if we're all clear. In the meantime, we're here waiting for the other shoe to drop and sincerely, earnestly hoping that it doesn't and that we make it out of this most recent infectious episode unscathed.

Ah the joys of children and the viral farmer's market to which they avail us!

Clarice

Kiran's Big Brother

2008-11-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

Kiran's big brother loves her.

He kisses her.

He hugs her.

He makes her laugh like nobody else can.

And yesterday, he started "reading" to her.

I heard him before I saw them. I had left her in our big papasan chair for a moment. I had just changed her diaper and went to wash my hands. I heard him squeaking away in the "baby voice" he reserves for her. Then I heard him say "This is cheese. This is apple. This is bwoccoli." When I went in the room, I found them cuddled up together with a book. He specifically picked out the "Babys' First 100 Words" picture book and climbed up in the chair to show her the pictures. It was very sweet. She's a very blessed little girl to have such an attentive big brother.

Clarice

Conflict Resolution

2008-11-15T22:47:00.001-08:00

This past Monday, Ian and I had our quarterly meeting with Jackson's preschool teachers (yep, he's considered a preschooler now). They started off by telling us how he is such a happy boy, full of energy, and a delight to have in the class. Then they started telling us that the newest arrivals (which included Jackson and 7 of his little friends) were currently working on understanding conflict resolution (aren't we all?). They diplomatically proceeded to tell us that Jackson was making great improvements, but that his primary method of conflict resolution involved hands and tears. They were working on helping him to use his words instead of pushing, hitting, or crying. I asked how they taught conflict resolution. They said they had several steps involving identifying the problem, telling both sides of the story, coming up with a potential solution, determining if the solution was acceptable to both parties, and if not, proposing alternate solutions. I got overwhelmed at the idea that these teachers spent all day doing this with 2.5 to 4.5 year olds.

On Thursday, I went to pick up Jackson. He was over by the bookshelf, deciding on which book to "read" next. After he gave me his perfunctory hello kiss, he told me he wanted to read one more book. Just as he picked up a book, Z (whose name will remain anonymous to protect his identity) swooped in and grabbed it out of his hands. Jackson immediately started crying (see post below for an example of the type of cry). I started sweating a bit. The teacher was on the other side of the room talking to one of the other parents. I reminded Jackson to tell Z that he was using it. Despite two vehement declarations of "I was using that", Z continued reading through Jackson's desired book in a rather unfazed manner. The teacher was still not available. Jackson was still crying loudly. So I asked the two boys (yep, the perpetrator was another boy...who will remain anonymous) if they could think of a solution to the problem. From a few yards away, JJ ran over and picked up a random book and tried to shove it in Jackson's hand. "He-ah, Jasson. Read this," she implored. M also left his books and ran over, giving Jackson a brief pat on the back. "Don't cry. It's okay," he suggested. Z looked up then and suggested, "We could share it." He moved his body slightly to make room for Jackson to sit down next to him. "Share it, Jackson, share it," M agreed, jumping up and down excitedly. Z looked up at Jackson, who was not making any moves to sit next to him. He then speed-read the rest of the book and handed it over with a sweet expression and his trademark cocked head. "Oh, sank you!" Jackson declared. Tears stopped, smile returned, and all was well in the world. If only adult conflict resolution efforts were so successful.

Clarice

Quoted at CNN.com

2008-11-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

The reporter was looking for an "expert" in children's dentistry. She got my take on Halloween candy.

Clarice

Fake Crying

2008-11-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

By the time Jackson was just a couple of months old we had gotten pretty good at the art of determining what his cries meant. He had a specific cry for hungry, for gas, for just a little tired, and a real distinct one for too tired to try to fall asleep. Around one year of age a new cry entered into the lexicon. We were pretty sure it was an angry cry because we would hear it at lights out time when we left him alone in his darkened room to sleep. And it would stop as soon as we reentered the room. However, at around two years of age, the newest one entered in - the fake cry.

It happens several times a day, usually when Jackson doesn't get what he wants or when he has to do something he doesn't want to do. We know it's a fake cry because it is seldom accompanied by tears and he can turn it off in a nanosecond. Well last week, I asked him to go wash his hands for dinner and (as always) he launched into his fake cry with gusto. I followed him into the bathroom to monitor his handwashing progress and caught him watching himself cry in the mirror. He would occasionally stop and change facial expressions or sounds. When he saw me, he stopped crying for a second or two, then launched right back into it. So I joined him in fake crying and before long we were both laughing. It was then that I decided that I must capture the fake cry on video.

I only had to wait two days for this.

You know it can't be a real traumatic situation if you can keep washing your hands and say "I wanna see, Mommy" while maintaining the pretense of crying.

Clarice

Family Zerberts

2008-11-01T16:10:00.001-07:00

Living Wide Awake

2008-10-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

I rarely see my name in print and only remember one instance; my name is on the back cover of the DVD for Vengeance Trail, a low budget Western at Blockbuster. I did work on some Aero-Acoustic research projects at Georgia Tech Research Institute that were published, but I seriously doubt if my name was mentioned. Recently, I have been quoted by my friend and pastor at Mosaic, Erwin McManus, in his latest book called Wide Awake. It's quite an honor and quite humbling.

On page 135, Erwin tells the story of how I was training him for high-fall stunts on a short film he was starring in called "Such Great Heights." On one fall, he took his eyes off the mark and landed off center, causing his feet to wrap off the edge of the high-fall pad and smack the ground. I happened to make an offhand comment that "you always hit what you're looking at" and Erwin, in his amazingly relevant way, was able to make a profound example of the whole experience.

Now, I probably picked up the pithy wisdom from mistakes I had made in stunt training over the years. I once over-rotated on a 45 foot high fall and whiplashed my neck so hard that I had to get acupuncture because my chiropractor and an orthopedic deep-tissue massage tech couldn't relax the spastic knot in my neck. Another time, I laid down my street motorcycle when I was taking a turn too fast and out of fear took my eyes off the turn ahead, placing my focus on the ditch that I so desperately desired to avoid. I also know that skateboarders, race-car drivers and helicopter pilots always look as far ahead to the horizon that they can in order to make the most streamlined maneuvers.

I'm glad that I could pass on something that I have learned. It's far wiser to learn something from somebody else's experience instead of learning it the hard way, but alas, I am still on that pursuit of wisdom. I do hope that Erwin's ankle doesn't hold any grudges.

In any case, Erwin McManus is talking through each chapter of Wide Awake at Mosaic through the end of November. If you would like the book, I still have a few copies to give away so please email me. Or you may join our gatherings at one of seven locations and receive a free book and meet the author.

If you want to know more, you can "Look Inside" at Amazon or click on this overview.

Ian

Ian is Joe the Plumber too!

2008-10-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

I decided to make a commercial for the "I'm Joe the Plumber" contest at JohnMcCain.com. What do you think?

BTW, if you didn't catch the earlier announcement, we started a political blog at hoteyre.blogspot.com.

Ian

Kiran Laughs

2008-10-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Pleasant happy baby. She's been smiling for a month now, but last night she started laughing for the first time. Fortunately, daddy was there with the video camera to catch it.

Clarice

Developing a Maternal Instinct

2008-10-20T21:28:00.001-07:00

No, not me. I've got my maternal instinct intact now that I'm the mother of two children.

And not Ian. He's done a great job as Mr Mom for Jackson and now Kiran.

Jackson's the one who is beginning to demonstrate a maternal instinct. Last post was about how he naturally gravitated toward toys that involve motion or building. He's definitely all boy. But this morning he did something so sweetly maternal. I was walking by his room this morning as I was getting ready for work. When I peeked in on him, I saw him standing near the portable heater (don't worry, mom, it has an outer shell that doesn't fully transmit the heat...precious fingers are guarded from burning). He was holding one of his plush dogs right up against the heater. I didn't think that was too safe so I went in to move the doggy away from the heater. He protested mightily as I tried to remove the doggy from his hands, and shouted "No! The doggy has to stay!" I eased my grip on the doggy, but I told him that it wasn't safe so close to the heater. He inched away from heater a bit, but stayed quite close. A lightbulb went off in my head, so I asked him, "Is the doggy cold?" "Yeah," he replied. Then he refocused on the doggy, gently stroking its head, murmuring, "I know, doggy, I know. It's okay. Is your body warm now?" I think I had a grin on my face for at least half an hour.

It reminded me of an incident a week ago. Jackson was playing in his little friend Alaina's room last week. Ian was with him and called me to see what they were doing. Jackson was cradling a teddy bear and murmuring to it. Ian told me that Jackson had told him that the teddy was a baby named Kiran. Jackson had told Ian that he was feeding it (albeit through his shirt). Then Jackson upended the teddy over his shoulder and began patting its back.

Sweet, sweet things that children do. Now I'm looking forward to seeing what my little girl is going to do in a few years.

Clarice

No, buddy, that's a girl's toy

2008-10-09T00:02:00.000-07:00

I was working at the practice today. It's our tradition to let the kids pick a little toy as a reward for their "good behavior" in the dental chair. A little four year old boy was going through the treasure chest trying to decide what he wanted. When he finally picked a pretty pink bracelet, his mom blurted out, "No, buddy, that's a girl's toy!" Poor little Mikey had to choose an alternate, a military figure with a parachute attached to his back.

I laughed to myself. Neither Ian nor I have ever said that to Jackson. His first toys were all gender neutral, although I will admit that they were mostly blue or green in color. I was being practical. We expected to have more children and I thought gender neutral toys would be more economical if we had a girl in the future (which we do). At day care, they offered gender neutral toys, but they also had a wide assortment of dolls, pretty dress up clothes, and cooking utensils mixed in with the trucks and blocks and balls. Jackson has naturally gravitated toward the trucks and blocks. It's so clear to me that he likes the things that little boys are expected to like. But I've also realized that it really doesn't matter what kinds of toys he likes at this age. He has plenty of time to develop his masculinity. And it will come. There's something very, very boylike written on his soul.

Clarice

Jackson and Kiran

2008-10-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

When he's not making her flinch, he makes her smile.

Clarice

Toe-may-toe Toe-mah-toe

2008-10-04T23:07:00.000-07:00

It's been rather interesting explaining Kiran's name to people. Quite often they hear Karen, or they think of Kirin (the beer), or the Kieran (the Irish boy's name). We're quite happy with the name. But we did have a bit of a disconcerting week in her first month.

I found the name Kiran on one of the baby names websites. I had entered the word "light" in the search box to see what would come up. The pronunciation at Baby Names World indicated KEE-ran, with an emphasis on the first syllable. We really liked it. We also thought it was a small tip of the hat to Ireland in honor of Ian's parents who both hold Irish passports (but are now US citizens).

We polled our blog audience way back in June to see what folks thought and got some.....interesting responses. Many liked the series of names that started with Kira***, so that confirmed its presence on the top 5 list. Then to double-check pronunciation I asked a colleague of Indian ancestry if she was familiar with the name and how she would pronounce it. She said that she had heard the name before, and that it was a good name, and that it didn't really matter how the name was pronounced. That pretty much settled it, except for some last minute doubts on the day she was born.

About three weeks after Kiran was born I took her to an event. A friend who had seen her birth announcement came up to meet her and then asked me how we were pronouncing her name. I said KEE-ran. She nodded and said "Oh, okay, because the one woman I know named Kiran pronounces it kee-RAHN (with the emphasis on the second syllable)." I looked over to see my colleague of Indian ancestry, who was within earshot. She must have seen the big question mark on my face because she looked at me apologetically and said, "Yeah, it's actually supposed to be pronounced kee-RAHN." "Oh," I uttered. I went home and rather despondently told Ian that we were pronouncing our daughter's name wrong. He looked a bit disappointed for a moment, then said "Well that actor from Beverly Hills 90210 pronounced his name EYE-en instaed of EE-en, like the rest of us. Some say toe-may-toe, some say toe-mah-toe." That made me feel a bit better, but I still didn't want to be the ignoramus parent who couldn't pronounce my kid's names correctly. But then I decided, heck with it, toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe, I'm going to pronounce it the way I want to. So for about a week, when people asked me about the baby's name, I would rattle off, "It's a Hindi/Sanskrit name that means 'ray of light'. It's officially kee-RAHN, but we call her KEE-ran." People seemed content with that, although it was a mouthful to explain every time.

Well a few weeks later I ran into a group of international students from India. They were asking me about the baby and about her name. It dawned on me that they could probably tell me if I was on track or ignorant, so I told them that we had chosen a Hindi/Sanskrit name that was spelled K-i-r-a-n. "Oh!" they exclaimed in unison, "KEE-ran!! It means 'ray of light'!" I was so happy to know they knew the name and that they pronounced it the way we had chosen to pronounce it. To triple-check, I told them that I had been told that it should be pronounced kee-RAHN. "Oh, no!" they declared, "only Americans pronounce it that way. In India we pronounce it the way you do." Yipee! Not the ignorant parent after all.

So now I confidently call my daughter KEE-ran. Now we just have to deal with helping people learn how to spell it.

Clarice

Jackson at Two-and-a-Half

2008-10-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

He loves fire trucks. What is it about little boys and fire trucks. And he's starting to want to demonstrate strength.

He's learning to put his clothes on. He came home from school like this. We don't quite understand why nobody pointed out that his pants were on backward.

He's got a mind of his own. He was quite adamant about drinking from both cups at once - one with milk, one with water.

That's our boy.

Clarice

What is he thinking?

2008-09-30T23:28:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I watch Jackson's antics and I wonder just what he's thinking.

Last night we were getting ready for dinner so I started giving Jackson some instructions on what to do (clean up toys, try the potty, wash hands...). I guess he must have gotten tired of hearing me give instructions for the umpteenth time in the one hour we had been home because he covered his ears and turned his face away from me. When he took his hands of his ears, I asked him what he was doing? No answer. So I started repeating my instructions. He immediately covered his ears again and watched me for my response. I was in a silly mood so I started just silently moving my mouth in an exaggerated fashion. He looked baffled for a minute, then uncovered his ears (I guess to check my speaking volume). As soon as he took his hands off his ears I returned to my normal speaking voice. So he covered his ears again and I went to silent mode. This time, I got a laugh from him and we went back and forth a few more times.

Later in the evening, I had propped Kiran up on the sofa so she could watch Jackson playing. He suddenly jumped on the sofa. It looked like he was grabbing her head and getting a little too close to her face for my comfort. I immediately jumped up to protect the poor babe from her overzealous brother. When I got closer I saw that he was mouthing nonsensically to her. The hands were actually just covering her ears. I had to crack up. I've been cracking myself up all day long at the memory of him covering the baby's ears and mouthing silently to her. I just don't know what he's thinking sometimes. Between the moments of frustration at dealing with his "two-ness", come moments like these that are just pure delight.

Clarice

Pleasant Little Girl

2008-09-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Kiran's been such an easy baby...that is, once she made it through her week 6 fussy period. She doesn't cry much - only if we get really messed up with our planning and leave her hungry more than 15 minutes. Such a content baby. Here she is talking to her little friends who circle her head on her mobile.

Clarice

Business Travel

2008-09-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

I love traveling. I love seeing the diverse terrain and cultural environments of this world. Whenever we travel, I can't stand staying in. I want to see as much of each new city as I can.

I just got back from a trip to Dallas. I was there to take a Board Exam. I flew out Sunday afternoon and came back last night. I was gone only 38 hours. Besides a walk to get lunch at a sandwich joint half a mile away and a shuttle ride to the testing center a mile away, I never left the four walls of my room.

That was my second trip to Dallas this year. The first was in April for a dental meeting. I only left the hotel once - to go on a guided tour to Baylor Dental School.

Business travel holds little pleasure for me. I didn't even want to explore more of the city. For me, something as fun and enriching as travel must be a shared experience. But, oh boy, is traveling a challenge with two little ones. So we'll have to wait a few more years before Ian and continue in our goal to visit all 50 states and 6 of the 7 continents. Here's our progress so far:

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

create your own visited country map

Clarice

Jackson loves Kiran

2008-09-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

He always wants to kiss her. I should be thankful, but he's so much heavier and stronger than she is.

It's still pretty cute though.

Clarice

Flying with a toddler

2008-09-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

Jackson has become quite a traveller. If he had a frequent flier number, he would have already earned himself a round trip ticket. People often ask us how he does when he flies. Most of the time quite well, but it does take some advance planning. Here are our tips:

1. Fly during nap time. That kills around 2 hours.
2. Run him up and down the aisle of the airplane. He can burn off some energy and we get to meet some interesting people.
3. Let him actually drink juice. That's a big deal for the poor child of a dentist.
4. Bring movies...and ration his TV watching prior to the trip so it's a real novelty again.

Here's Jackson watching Little Einsteins on my iPod.

Clarice

Remembrance

2008-09-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

Thursday was a memorable day. Since 2001, September 11 has been a significant date to me. Something in me woke up after the events of that momentous day. But over time, I've begun to forget the overall impact just a bit every year.

This Thursday morning started out just like any other day. We woke up, washed up, and I packed Jackson into my car to begin our journey to day care. We did our normal routine, pointing out the ambulances waiting outside the local hospital's ER, the tow trucks near the auto repair shop, the taxis parked outside the Four Seasons Hotel. Then we started approaching Jackson's favorite location on our journey to school - the fire station. As I do every morning that I drive him to school, I peered ahead to see if there would be a fire engine in the front drive of the fire station rather than tucked away in the garages. I saw the flash of red that told me that Jackson was going to have the rare treat of seeing a fire engine in plain sight. I knew he would be so excited. But when the engine came in full sight, I couldn't join Jackson in his joyful celebration of fire trucks. There was a ladder truck parked in the driveway. The firefighters had extended the ladder to full length and had draped an American flag at the top of the ladder. They were honoring their lost fellows-in-arms. And I remembered again the horrible actions of those who hate our country and our way of life, who consider it an act of heroism to perpetrate violence against America. And the somber tone that has marked most of my September 11's since 2001 returned again.

But the afternoon brought a redemptive moment to this date. As Ian has blogged, he was sworn in as a citizen of the US. It was such a remarkable experience. There were probably way more guests than there were inductees. People sporting video cameras, still cameras, and celebratory flowers. There were guests and brand new citizens bearing American flags and wearing red, white, and blue apparel. The sense of excitement and pride was really, really moving. And I realized that I was in a room full of people who wanted to be American, who worked hard to become American.

There really is something special about America. The freedom and democracy that the founders set into motion draws people from all over the world, some of whom give up amazing careers to start all over again in this country (some day I'll blog about the conversations I've had with the international students at UCLA Dental School). But that very same freedom inspires such deep hate, the kind of hate that compels people to take their own lives and the lives of others with them.

So now September 11 is not only the date that terrorists attacked the US, but now it is the date that Ian became a citizen. And although I'll always remember the terrible attacks, I can now remember that this is the date that my American-raised husband chose to become a citizen, choosing to celebrate the very aspects of this country that others hate. I will remember that we are incredibly blessed to be in this country.

Clarice

Ian's U.S. Naturalization Day

2008-09-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

I finally got a letter from INS to appear at the L.A. Convention Center on Thursday 9/11 to swear in as an American Citizen.

The fact that it was at the convention center should have clued me in to the demand for naturalization in California, the world's seventh largest economy, but just a few months ago I had attended my sister's nice, small swearing-in ceremony in Atlanta. The new citizens went in first to process in and verify that no changes to a person's marital or criminal status had occurred since the approval interview. Then the guests were allowed in to wait in a large room for an hour and entertain the restless toddlers. Finally, we filed into the district courtroom for a very nice ceremony that included hearing each name and nationality. There were 75 total new citizens and 50 countries represented.

Contrast that to my experience. There were 6,121 new citizens and no chance to be called by name or learn the demographics of the room. I noticed plenty of spanish and asian origin and one tall white man from eastern Europe. It was a cattle call. I was able to make brief contact with my wife and children so they could look in my general direction. After group oath-swearing, the pledge of allegiance and a video address by President Bush, all six thousand of us traded in our green cards for our proof-of-citizenship certificate, which surprisingly took less than an hour.

I'd love to post a picture of my Certificate of Naturalization, but since; "It is punishable by U.S. Law to copy, print or photograph this certificate, without lawful authority," I'll just show you the letter I received from President Bush.

Meanwhile, my family waited patiently outside, entertained by light-hearted heckling between the Republican Party and Democrat Party voter sign-up booths. I got my picture taken with a life-size cutout of McCain. Then we went out to dinner with some friends to celebrate.

Despite the impersonal aspects, I found myself in serious and grateful contemplation throughout the experience. I've been in America since I was nine and don't remember feeling any allegiance to my home country Canada. I've always cared for American interests and issues ever since the Reagan presidential campaign. I've only paid taxes here and I registering with the Selective Service when I turned eighteen. In 1990, while working as a co-op student for McDonnell Douglas Helicopter, builder of the Apache attack helicopter, the first Gulf war began and there was talk of a possible draft. I knew I was eligible and I was willing to fight for America back then. In fact, during my oath-swearing ceremony, about a hundred new citizens were recognized for serving in the armed forces to expedite their citizen process. Nobody forced them or me to care this deeply for America.

America is a great nation that for the most part shares my values. There is great opportunity here for personal advancement and service to mankind. American principles and ideals are worth fighting for and I'm proud to be an American.

Ian

Clarice's Latest Job

2008-09-12T23:50:00.000-07:00

Ian's latest jobs

2008-09-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hey,

A few links of my work have finally come online.

Here's a link to a music video I just stunt coordinated for Autralian singer Lenka called "The Show."

Also, the trailer is finally up for the movie I stunt coordinated in Jordan earlier this year called The Stoning of Soraya M.

And here's a link to Acts of Violence, the feature I helped produce two years ago, using our house as four locations.

Ian

Coming out of the political closet

2008-09-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

That's who we're voting for. There...I did it. I've admitted our political leanings. I've personally been wanting to blog about politics for a while, but realized that not everyone knows where we stand. It's particularly interesting to be McCain/Palin supporters (and I'm a registered Republican) when you work in academia and Hollywood. Both Ian and I are scorned minorities. But both of us feel that this coming election is extremely important. And both of us have become political junkies. So instead of cluttering our personal blog with the political, Ian has started a new blog. If you're interested in politics, navigate over to hoteyre.blogspot.com. We look forward to some interesting interactions.

Clarice

It’s Just a Movie

2008-08-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a macho man. In the nineties I used to joke about becoming a sensitive nineties male. Now I’m a dad and I’ve become a softy.

For example, the other day I watched Patriot Games for the umpteenth time…and I found myself getting really emotional at the scenes where Harrison Ford is trying to protect his wife and daughter from harm. I even shuddered when his wife and daughter were in the car accident.

So, have I become a sensitive new millennial man, or was I just a callous single guy a decade ago?

Ian

Letters, Numbers, and Symbols

2008-08-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Some of you have seen this videoclip I've posted of Jackson enjoying an alphabet toy that his Uncle Roy and Aunt Becky gave him for Christmas.

After receiving this toy eight months ago, Jackson started showing some interest in letters. He already knew his ABC song and could count to 12. So we thought we would try to help him learn to read some letters and numbers in a low key way. On our drives to and from daycare, we would point things out to him in well intended teachable moments.

So here's what he now knows at two and a half years.

He can recognize the letters E and M with great certainty. The letters S and W sometimes.

He can spot the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. He sometimes gets 6, although he often confuses it with 8 and 9.

But if we're in the car, he'll identify the symbols for Toyota, Lexus, Honda, Acura, Mercedes, BMW, VW, Nissan, Audi, and Ford.

I guess you can tell what his priorities are.

Clarice

The Mustache Party

2008-08-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

We were invited to a birthday party a few weeks ago. Our friend, having a sense of humor, decided to make it a mustache themed party. She encouraged men to grow their own mustaches and included mustaches for those unable to grow their own. Ian got busy growing his mustache, which only took two days (so different from the two months it used to take for my brother to grow 13 hairs on his chin and 22 on his upper lip). Our friend included two mustaches in our invitation so we assumed that meant that Jackson was invited also.

Alas, when the big day came, it didn't work out to bring the family. The little one wasn't quite ready for her first grown up party where BYOB was posted on the invitation. But we did comply with our friend's request to take pictures and send to her.

So this is how we would have looked had we attended the mustache party:

Jackson had this to say in the aftermath of the photo session:

Translation for those of you who don't speak toddler: "I don't like mustaches. Happy Birthday, Aunt Sandra."

Clarice

At one month

2008-08-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to a going away party for a friend last Saturday night. Someone commented that it seemed like we got out pretty soon after the births of both kids. I replied that we took our time with Jackson. First time parents, we were cautious and overprotective. Plus, there's something magical about being confined for one month in what I think must be some kind of Chinese tradition. But with this second kid, we were definitely more comfortable getting out and about that first month. After all, Kiran was more likely to catch some kind of virus from her brother than from any adult we would contact. Case in point...

At one month of age Jackson had been out...
-to his pediatrician's office twice
-to his grandparents' home
-to our accountant's office (he was born in the heat of our preparation for our tax return)
-to a restaurant in Venice so his other grandparents could get out of the house

At one month of age Kiran had been out...
-to her pediatrician's office twice
-to her grandparents' home
-to two restaurants so her parents could get out of the house
-to three movies
-to her buddy Marley's house
-to her buddy Judah's house
-to Target to buy baby supplies for her cousin Riley
-to the hospital twice to visit her Aunt Amy while awaiting her cousin Riley
-to church
-to a birthday party for Jackson's friend Jeremy
...there are probably more events I've forgotten. At any rate, the whole new baby shock has obviously worn out with Kiran. Wonder what would happen if we DID have a third kid.

Clarice

Large, Medium, and Small

2008-08-13T23:03:00.001-07:00

Jackson spends most of his time with kids his age (and size) and adults. Until recently, whenever I thought of him in terms of size, I always thought of him as being so little - especially next to his 6'4" tall daddy. But when Kiran joined our family, I started realizing how big Jackson has grown to be. She was this teeny little bug next to him. Then my nephew Riley was born one month and one day after Kiran was born. He was 5 weeks early and 2 lbs, 4 oz lighter than her birth weight. That's when I realized that she wasn't so tiny any more. And Jackson is gigantic next to him.

Here are the 3 Law grandchildren side by side. 27 months old, 4 weeks old, 1 day old. Large, medium, and small. Or perhaps Small, Extra Small, and Extra Extra Small.

Clarice

Update on the Valiant Little Dog

2008-08-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

My very special nephew, who I told y'all about here, made his grand appearance yesterday. He made it to 35 weeks, arriving just 5 weeks early. Lung development was obviously complete as he came out screaming like a banshee. I got to be there to welcome him. He's a cute little thing. Here he is, wrapped up like a little burrito....

Thank you all for your prayers!! More pictures at our web gallery here

Clarice

Channeling Sean Penn

2008-08-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

Get that camera out of my face!!!

Second Time Around

2008-08-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today is the one month anniversary of the addition of Kiran to our family. It's been an amazing time.

Sometime early in the past month, my mom suggested that it seemed that I had bonded more rapidly with Kiran than I had with Jackson. I had to admit that it was true. I felt a pang of guilt for a moment, realizing that I had already violated the equal treatment ideal I thought we might want to pursue (can that happen with one son and one daughter?). But then I realized that bonding more quickly with Kiran wasn't necessarily the sign of a bad thing.

We got pregnant the first time 4 months into our marriage. It certainly wasn't planned. The baby was definitely wanted and hoped for, but not planned for at that particular time. Jackson was born just a few days after our first anniversary. Quite honestly, Ian and I had a hard time adjusting. We were still getting used to the idea of being married, having wed in our mid to late 30s, and having been rather set in our ways. We were getting used to the loss of independence and the addition of teaming. And I was just settling into a new role at work. So when Jackson came, my mind (and Ian's) was elsewhere. I don't know if I really bonded with Jackson until he started interacting with us. Until then, he was just a eating, pooping, sleeping machine. But this second time around I feel like I have fully embraced marriage (it's a blast!!) and parenthood (also a blast, albeit the hardest fun I've ever had). So bonding with Kiran is just an indicator of my overall state of mind...and that's a good thing for the family.

But something specific happened the morning Kiran was born that initiated the bonding process with her. Actually, it started the night before. Ian had a meeting so I was alone with Jackson and our night-time routine. I honestly can't remember the details of the evening. I just remember that it was awful. I think Jackson cried through his bath and resisted going to bed. He wouldn't go to sleep with me holding his hand or patting/rubbing his back or singing to him...nothing worked with me in the room. He kept coming out of his toddler bed so I ended up putting him in the crib that was transitioning from being his to hers. Then he would cry at the top of his lungs if I left the room. If I moved him back to his toddler bed, he was out again, but crying. It went on for close to two hours and I knew he was exhausted and really needed to sleep. I was exhausted and was feeling heavy and uncomfortable in my pregnant state. I think he finally cried himself to sleep. I felt like I wanted to cry myself to sleep. I was emotionally drained since Jackson hadn't had a night like that in over a year. Ian came home a bit later. We caught up and finally went to bed after midnight, with me worrying about the fact that I was exhausted from the difficult evening with Jackson, but still had to be in Inglewood at 8:00 AM to supervise students in the clinic.

I never made it down to Inglewood in the morning. Instead, I was awakened at 4:20 AM by what I thought were the Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions, which I'd been experiencing nearly daily for the past month, particularly when tired or stressed. I spent about an hour trying to ignore the discomfort. Then I starting thinking that I probably shouldn't go to work and got up to set into action a "Plan B" for covering my work responsibilities. By 6:30 AM, I had an inkling that I might actually be in labor and not just having false contractions, but I figured I would need more time to confirm. After I did what I thought I needed to do for work, I felt compelled to go into Jackson's room. I sat next to his crib for about five minutes just watching him sleep. He surprised me by awakening suddenly, much earlier than his usual 7:00 to 7:30 wakeup time, even more unusual considering his very late bedtime. He sat up quietly and just held up his arms to be held. So I pulled him out of the crib and held him on my lap. This was a rare move for him. Unlike his normal morning practice of humoring me with a brief kiss before launching into a monologue about cars and trucks, he just sat there and hugged me back. It was such a powerful moment. In fact, every time I think of it, even a month later, I get weepy. And I'm generally not a weepy person.

In that brief period of time, many things happened. I think I realized that this was probably the last morning Jackson would have as an only child. I felt a sorrow that he would no longer have our undivided attention, but would be sharing it with another child. But at the same time, I was realizing that much of his life he never actually had our undivided attention because both Ian and I are people with strong senses of responsibility to our work and to what we think God has called us to. So I mourned that we had missed a lot of moments in his life while we were busy anticipating and moving toward some unknown future. And I mourned that the previous night, my last night alone with him, was such an awful experience for both of us. And while he sat there on my lap, uncharacteristically returning my five minute hug, I started bawling (also uncharacteristically...perhaps I can blame it on the hormones of pregnancy). It was the rivers-of-tears-flowing-down-the-face, snotty-nose, uncontrollable-sobbing kind of bawling. And my boy knew something was happening. He looked up at me and held my face in his hands and asked "Mommy cwying?". Then the moment passed. I don't remember what happened next, but it was probably a conversation about what he wanted to play with before going to school.

I don't know that my thoughts crystallized in that particular moment, but this second time around I have come to realize that I can choose to mourn lost time with Jackson, or I can choose to cherish time to come with both Jackson and Kiran. So, yes, I feel much more bonded to Kiran than I did to Jackson when he was the same age. I know I need to be responsible to my work, but I commit to prioritizing my family. I don't want to just do for them, I want to be with them. I want to enjoy the present I have with them instead of focusing so hard on the future I may have with them and apart from them.

It's kind of funny/ironic. For years, I had this mantra I would quote to people - "enjoy the time". I think it's the lesson I needed to acknowledge that my moment with Jackson reminded me of. I intend to enjoy my time this second time around.

Clarice

Are you wigh dere?

2008-07-26T21:42:00.000-07:00

The most frequent question I get now that I am a parent of two is "How's Jackson doing with the baby?" I was a bit worried about how he would respond. He had been demonstrating a tendency toward jealousy. Actually, more than a tendency. The first time he saw me holding another child, he burst into tears, ran over as fast as his chubby 18 month old legs could take him, and grabbed the face of the offending little friend, attempting to take her face off (imagine John Travolta doing an impression of Nicolas Cage saying that...obscure John Woo reference). As recent as 3-4 months ago, he came over to hit his little friend Alaina when I was giving her a hug because she was crying.

So we were a bit worried that he would be jealous of his new little sister. The whole time during the pregnancy we kept telling him that his little sister, his baby, was growing in mommy's tummy so that he could love her. And the day he saw her for the first time, he seemed to demonstrate a genuine affection.

So we're not so worried about him feeling jealous. As soon as he comes home from school, he asks for her first. I don't even get a hug any more. He puts on this falsetto voice and says "Hi baby. Are you wigh dere?" (which we think translates to "are you right there?", although we have no idea what he means by that...she's obviously right there).

But we still have to worry about how he interacts with her. You know how some people say things like "She's so cute I just want to eat her up" or "I just want to squeeze him to death"? Well that seems to be how affectionate Jackson is about his little sister. He hugs her REALLY hard and sometimes bites her. So he's not jealous, but he just can't control how to express his feelings.

I guess she's going to grow up to be one tough chick if she can defend herself from the affections of her big brother.

Clarice

A Tale of Two Families

2008-07-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

Lawrences & Eyres

July 2006
Jackson 5 months, Harper 2 months

July 2008
Marley 8 weeks, Kiran 2 weeks

Family Picture

2008-07-21T22:18:00.001-07:00

Due Date

2008-07-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today is Kiran's due date. According to the ultrasound technician, today was supposed to be the day when she would reach the magic age to be considered full-term. Of course, I never expected her to come on time. I thought Jackson would come late. After all, I had been told that first babies tended to come late. So I didn't expect him 10 days early, on my last official day of work. But with Kiran, I assumed that she would be early. I just didn't want to repeat the delivering on the last official day of work thing (as I did again).

So we've now had her for 2 weeks on the day she would be due.

I was approaching today's date with trepidation. Jackson's labor and delivery was so hard. I had about 36 hours of contractions before active labor really started (2 sleepless nights), 3 hours of active contractions, close to an hour of pushing, and an hour of being stitched up afterward. I was a bit scared of labor and delivery again. I don't know what made me think of doing a natural birth for Jackson (Becky, Lilia, Kathy M...). I'm a health care provider. We like drugs. So this time I wanted the epidural. If you don't know the story, we got to the hospital too late. Kiran was born one hour after they put that gown on me. I hadn't even consented to treatment. The funny thing is...I was telling Ian yesterday that I can't remember what the contractions felt like. And I can't remember what the delivery felt like either. And after months and months of telling people that we're closing shop after this one, I'm wondering if we should go ahead and let another accident happen.

I was approaching today's date with excitement. I was so curious to see what Kiran would look like. I spent most of Jackson's pregnancy telling Ian how my dominant genes would absolutely wipe out his recessive genes. Then I birthed a blond hair, blue eyed boy. The blue eyes have now become this cool light brown. But the hair is still Ian's exact color. This one seems to be expressing the dominant genes I threw her... although her eyes are also the blue/gray color that Jackson's started out to be. But I have been so curious to find out what she's going to be like. And on the day she's due, I feel like I have an idea. She's fairly mellow. She has a special little yelp she makes when she's ready to eat. And I think she knows me already. As soon as I pick her up to feed her, she stops crying and starts looking at me expectantly.

I just feel blessed. We've had an extra two weeks with our little girl. Now to look forward to the rest of our lives with her.

Clarice

More Pictures

2008-07-16T17:28:00.001-07:00

We were so blessed to have our friend Emily, mother of one of Jackson's twin sisters, come to take pictures of Kiran a few days after she was born. She brought her clan to play with Jackson, join us for lunch, and document our new little one.

More pictures at her website. There are still more. If you're interested in seeing more pictures of the little one, let me know.

Clarice

Valiant Little Dog

2008-07-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

I've been awaiting the birth of a very special nephew (whose pregnancy I blogged about a bit here). I have two other very special nephews and a niece (whose antics are recounted by their parents here). This eagerly anticipated nephew is my little brother's first child, making him a blood nephew. But more than that, this little one is my brother's child.

My brother is very special to me. We used to be as different as could be. I was the band geek/honor student, who had the pretense of being a good little girl. Little brother was the athlete/fraternity boy, who had the pretense of being a baaadasss. I don't think we're soooooo different these days. And he's the only person in the world with a shared growing-up experience, which gives him a window into my soul that few others have.

Weeks ago, when I was wrestling with the possibility that Bright Flower (now known as Kiran Jasmine) might come a bit early (at 36 weeks LMP instead of the ideal 40 weeks), my brother and his wife were so supportive and encouraging of me and my concerns. Then on the day that Kiran was born, my sister-in-law was on the way to the delivery room to join me when she felt a "gush". It turns out that the gush was amniotic fluid. My little nephew was threatening to come into the world much too early - at 31 weeks LMP. That would make him about 3 lbs and without full lung development. So what I was worrying about with Bright Flower is happening with my nephew.

My sister-in-law was admitted to the hospital one week ago. She has been been prescribed bed rest with full fetal monitoring under the watchful eye of her physician until the baby is born. The goal is to get to at least 34 weeks LMP, which is another 2 weeks.

My brother and his wife have already given their little one a name. He will be Riley Madden Law. Riley means "valiant or courageous" and Madden means "little dog". So this is my prayer for nephew - that he would fulfill his name and be a feisty little fighter, like his chihuahua "siblings" that no doubt inspired his name.

So hang in there, valiant little dog. Auntie Clarice loves you and wants you to come into this world healthy and strong.

Clarice

Bright Flower's Arrival

2008-07-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

Announcing the birth of Kiran Jasmine Eyre on July 1 at 6:10 pm at the Ronald Reagan Medical Center at UCLA.

Kiran came 15 days early and surprised us all. Clarice started contractions at about 4 am on Tuesday morning, her last official day of work. We both promptly cleared our schedules and took advantage of a few hours to finish our mental and physical preparations. We arrived at the hospital at 4:40 pm, and Clarice got settled into a bed at 5 pm while the triage nurse was completing admission proceedings. Six minutes later she felt the urge to push and her water broke. At 6:10 pm, after only 20 minutes of hard pushing, Kiran squeezed into this world with a panicked cry and then settled into looking around and blinking. She is beautiful, perfectly formed, and has dark hair; more than Jackson had by one year of age. She has great grandma's nose, just like her brother, and much less of Daddy's pronounced cranium. She is even more mellow-tempered than Jackson was and makes little squirrel noises. Mom is doing exceptionally well due to a much shorter and easier labor and delivery than last time (less than half).

The family is all home together now. Jackson has been very tender with Kiran and surprisingly not jealous. He was very excited to give her the giraffe plush he bought her and was very excited to receive the surprise that Kiran "bought" for him (more train set additions).

Kiran means beam or ray of light and Jasmine is a fragrant flowering vine (we thank all of you who offered opinions about her name). Kiran's birth stats were: 7 lbs, 5 oz and 21 inches long. For comparison, Jackson was 6 lbs, 4 oz and 19.5 inches long at birth and he came ten days early.

We were so blessed to have our good friend Emily (mother of one of Jackson's best friends) present to document Kiran's arrival. Those pictures are posted at her website. More of our own pictures are posted at our family web gallery:

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We are exceedingly excited and grateful for God's provision and blessings.

Ian, Clarice, Jackson, and Kiran

Disappointment Over Answered Prayers

2008-06-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a roller coaster week. Actually, the past three weeks were quite hectic. I had to clear the graduating dental students for graduation, write and grade a final exam, prepare a project for a Fellowship that I'm a part of, and try to be a good wife and mommy. And Ian had quite a few nights where he had meetings as well. So I started last week off a bit sleep deprived. Then Tuesday afternoon I supervised residents in the clinic and Wednesday I saw a record number of kids for checkups, cleanings, orthodontic adjustments, and fillings. I was beat.

By the time last Thursday rolled around, I was experiencing frequent mild contractions. Actually, they were a little more than mild. Wednesday night was a restless night of sleep as I kept awakening to contractions. I reported all this to my OB when I went to see him for my regular checkup. Since I was 4 weeks from our due date, he decided to do an exam to check on the status of my cervix (sorry all, there's just no better way of saying this than what it is). "Hmmm," he said, after completing his exam. That's never a good thing to hear from a doctor. He told me that the baby was still high and that I wasn't dilated at all, but that the cervix was very soft and that I was 50% effaced. He said he thought there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming in the following week, but a 50% chance the next week and a 75% chance the next. Then he asked me if I could stop working sooner so that I could get more rest.

All of that really worried me because I had read that babies weren't considered full term until they are 37 weeks. Plus, my parents were out of town at a family reunion and the new medical center, at which we were hoping to deliver, would not be open for another 10 days. I continued to have frequent contractions the next two days and noticed that my belly bump had shifted discernibly downward. I was starting to worry that Bright Flower would be coming early despite the 0% prediction - preterm, without my parents or Ian's parents in attendance, and in the old hospital. So I quickly emailed immediate family and the folks in our small group and asked that they pray that things would settle down and that Bright Flower would stay in at least until June 30, when my parents would be back and the new hospital would be open.

I started feeling much better a few days later. Less contractions, less pressure down there. But because I had sounded the alarms, my parents decided to fly back early from the reunion and Ian's parents started looking into earlier flights to Los Angeles. So I was a bit expectant when we went back to see my OB yesterday. Ian came along with me so we could ask questions, in case the OB told us to expect the little one to come in the next few days. But he did his exam and cheerily declared that things were progressing very nicely. He said that I was dilated just a little bit, consistent with my stage of pregnancy, and that the baby was still quite high, and that I was 25% effaced. He told me that he thought that there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming this week, but 50% the following week. He suggested that it might be two or three more weeks before we could expect to receive our new child. He predicted that she might be just slightly ahead of her due date. "Hmmm," I thought. That was a really different picture that what he gave me last week. So I thought I would double check with him. I told the OB that he had said I was 50% effaced the previous week and that he had said to expect the baby in 1-2 weeks. He looked at me with a baffled look on his face and questioned if that's what he really said.

I left the office feeling really disappointed. Not disappointed that Bright Flower would be staying in a bit longer. I was glad to have a bit more time to prepare for her arrival. I was just disappointed that he had given me information that caused me to sound the alarms, bringing my parents home from a trip earlier than expected, and causing quite a few people to be concerned. Then I started to wonder if it was my fault, if I had misunderstood or overreacted to the information I had received the week before. It took quite a while for me to consider that perhaps it wasn't an error on the part of my OB or an error on my part, but maybe, just maybe, God had answered prayer.

I don't know what it is. I tell myself that I believe in a God who answers prayers, yet when I ask, I really don't expect Him to answer, let alone answer in the way I requested. I still go about expecting and preparing for worst case scenarios. So this has been an important lesson, I think. I would like to try to pray expecting results and learning to recognize those results and rejoice when the answers come.

So now my parents are home and prepared to care for Jackson when Ian, Bright Flower, and I go into the hospital. This time I'm going to ask that God will bring Bright Flower sometime between July 5 and July 14, when my in-laws will be here. Since Jackson came too early for them to be here, I would love for them to be a part of welcoming Halina Kalina/Hester Sue/Fievel Honeysuckle/Helen Sharon Daphne Phoebe Heather into this world. I will wait expectantly for the answer...and rejoice at whatever the answer is.

Clarice

On naming Bright Flower

2008-06-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Way back when Jackson was just a little nugget, we polled our blog audience for potential opinions on his name. Basically, Jackson was named with strong paternal influence. Ian is Scottish for John. That derivative was chosen because his father is the third John in a row in his lineage. So Jackson is English for "son of John". Jackson's middle name is Timothy after my father. We figured it was fair to honor both of our fathers (and it sure made for less effort in picking out a middle name).

Since Bright Flower is a girl, we figured we could just follow the previous pattern and name her with maternal influences. My name, Clarice, is a French name meaning "clear" or "bright". In Chinese tradition, the meaning of a child's name is very important. It encapsulates what the parents dream of for their child. So we were thinking that we could pass the legacy on to Bright Flower, partially in honor of what my parents dreamed of for me, and partly because it is our earnest prayer that this child would indeed be bright and radiant, a light in the eyes of those who see her. Well, at least that's what we hope. So in studying the hundreds of names that mean "bright" or "radiant" or "brilliant" or "luminous" or "light", here are some of our options (mind you, listing them here doesn't necessarily mean we would consider them all):

Aileen/Eileen/Elaine/Elana/Elena
Candra/Chandra/Chantrea
Dana/Danica
Eleanor/Ellie/Ellen/Helen/Helena/Galina/Yelina/Jelena/Halina/Ilona
Fievel
Hester
Kiran/Kira/Kirana
Lane/Lainey
Leonore/liora
Mahina/Meira
Nora/Neriah
Phoebe
Roberta/Robin
Roxanne
Selena
Solana/Solange
Zia
Zora

For her middle name, we've got a great two-for-one deal. My mom's name is Pansy, like the flower, and Ian's mom's name is Ivy, like the vine. Even though we're calling her flower for her womb name, we want something with a floral or vernal theme. And we hope it encapsulates the idea of "fragrance", because it is our prayer that her life would be modeled after Jesus, a fragrant offering. So here are some options for a middle name:

Daphne
Flora/Forian
Heather
Holly
Jasmine
Kalina
Kiele
Laurel
Lian/Lianne
Lila
Poppy
Sage
Sharon
Violet
Willow

Interestingly, of all of the names listed above, 3 are names of cousins (Phoebe, Daphne, Sharon) and 2 represent aunts (Helen and Heather). So those might not make a final cut, lest our mothers think their influence has been usurped (but we still love those cousins and aunts!!).

So....let the voting begin.

Clarice

UPDATE:
I forgot to include Kellen/Kellyn and Sorcha in our list of first names.
And Ian reminded me of middle name options of Hyacinth and Honeysuckle (as if!!)

"Are they twins?"

2008-06-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of most of the women in the small group Ian and I meet with through our church. We took this in January. From left to right, J was 1 week from delivering her first baby, E was 2 months from delivery, M was 4.5 months from delivery, I was 6 months from delivery, and C on the end is still awaiting her highly anticipated delivery date. So by the time Bright Flower arrives, she will be joining 3 other infants. And that's on top of the 3 toddlers we already have in the group. Yes, we're a really fruitful group of people.

We've really enjoyed building community with the other couples in our small group. We've been focusing mainly on looking into Christian literature or the Bible for guidance in building healthy marriages (and families). But a fun thing has been watching the 3 toddlers build friendships for the half of their lives that they've been interacting on a semi-regular basis. And, of course, there's a side benefit. When your kid has two little friends he likes, whose parents you like and trust, it makes babysitting exchanges pretty easy to come by.

In the months before baby #2 and #3 of our second round of progeny arrived, Ian and I babysat for each set of parents so they could have some "date nights" before their infants came. Because the tots tend to tear up the house when we keep them at our home, we started taking them out to the Grove for dinner and a chance to see the fountain, the trolley, the live music... The thing that we have found to be endearingly funny is that more than once, with each of the two little girls we've babysat, passers-by have asked "Are they twins?" Each time, they've justified the question with a comment on how well the kids get along. I guess the ethnic differences aren't that obvious.

Here's Jackson with his twin, Alaina

And with his other twin, Harper

Pretty cute, aren't they?

Clarice

Ian's Father's Day "Card"

2008-06-15T15:17:00.001-07:00

For Ian's second Father's Day, Jackson and I decided to dispense with the idea of a tangible present. Instead, we made a video greeting card.

I think Daddy enjoyed his card, along with his 2 hour afternoon nap.

Clarice

"I'll love you forever!"

2008-06-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

I had to administer a final exam yesterday. Students had 1 hour and 50 minutes to complete a 71 question multiple-choice exam. At 15 minutes to the end of the exam time, there was just one student left in the room, struggling to respond to my erudite questions. All of a sudden, a student came running in, looking as frazzled as could be. She started off by apologizing profusely, saying that although she had set her alarm early enough to make the 8:00 AM start time, she just woke up. She said she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet, which is a serious issue to a dental student. Then she begged me to let her take the final exam. "If you let me take it," she exclaimed, "I'll love you forever". Those were the words I had been waiting to hear my entire academic career. I was so moved by her declaration that I made an exception in the usual academic proceedings to allow her to take her exam late.

Just kidding.

When I heard those words, I was a bit taken aback. I replied something like "I don't know if that's the issue" or "that's not really what I'm looking for here". I don't remember what I said. I just remember being surprised. I mean, give me some justification or tell me that you want the opportunity to demonstrate what you've learned or tell me that an event like this is not consistent with how you intend to practice professionally. But "I'll love you forever"? Why should that matter when the issue has nothing to do with our (heretofore nonexistent, except in a 1:100 ratio) relationship and everything to do with the requirement that students demonstrate that they have learned.

There's something different about this generation of students. I don't quite get it. As much as I love idea of being involved in the process of equipping people to be in positions of influence (yes, dentists are people of influence), I don't know if that's really what I'm doing. Quite frustrating at times.

OK. Venting over. Now it's time to finish grading assignments from that class. Until later....

Clarice