I consider myself a macho man. In the nineties I used to joke about becoming a sensitive nineties male. Now I’m a dad and I’ve become a softy.
For example, the other day I watched Patriot Games for the umpteenth time…and I found myself getting really emotional at the scenes where Harrison Ford is trying to protect his wife and daughter from harm. I even shuddered when his wife and daughter were in the car accident.
So, have I become a sensitive new millennial man, or was I just a callous single guy a decade ago?
Ian
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Letters, Numbers, and Symbols
Some of you have seen this videoclip I've posted of Jackson enjoying an alphabet toy that his Uncle Roy and Aunt Becky gave him for Christmas.
After receiving this toy eight months ago, Jackson started showing some interest in letters. He already knew his ABC song and could count to 12. So we thought we would try to help him learn to read some letters and numbers in a low key way. On our drives to and from daycare, we would point things out to him in well intended teachable moments.
So here's what he now knows at two and a half years.
He can recognize the letters E and M with great certainty. The letters S and W sometimes.
He can spot the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. He sometimes gets 6, although he often confuses it with 8 and 9.
But if we're in the car, he'll identify the symbols for Toyota, Lexus, Honda, Acura, Mercedes, BMW, VW, Nissan, Audi, and Ford.
I guess you can tell what his priorities are.
Clarice
After receiving this toy eight months ago, Jackson started showing some interest in letters. He already knew his ABC song and could count to 12. So we thought we would try to help him learn to read some letters and numbers in a low key way. On our drives to and from daycare, we would point things out to him in well intended teachable moments.
So here's what he now knows at two and a half years.
He can recognize the letters E and M with great certainty. The letters S and W sometimes.
He can spot the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. He sometimes gets 6, although he often confuses it with 8 and 9.
But if we're in the car, he'll identify the symbols for Toyota, Lexus, Honda, Acura, Mercedes, BMW, VW, Nissan, Audi, and Ford.
I guess you can tell what his priorities are.
Clarice
Friday, August 15, 2008
The Mustache Party
We were invited to a birthday party a few weeks ago. Our friend, having a sense of humor, decided to make it a mustache themed party. She encouraged men to grow their own mustaches and included mustaches for those unable to grow their own. Ian got busy growing his mustache, which only took two days (so different from the two months it used to take for my brother to grow 13 hairs on his chin and 22 on his upper lip). Our friend included two mustaches in our invitation so we assumed that meant that Jackson was invited also.
Alas, when the big day came, it didn't work out to bring the family. The little one wasn't quite ready for her first grown up party where BYOB was posted on the invitation. But we did comply with our friend's request to take pictures and send to her.
So this is how we would have looked had we attended the mustache party:
Jackson had this to say in the aftermath of the photo session:
Translation for those of you who don't speak toddler: "I don't like mustaches. Happy Birthday, Aunt Sandra."
Clarice
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
At one month
We took the kids to a going away party for a friend last Saturday night. Someone commented that it seemed like we got out pretty soon after the births of both kids. I replied that we took our time with Jackson. First time parents, we were cautious and overprotective. Plus, there's something magical about being confined for one month in what I think must be some kind of Chinese tradition. But with this second kid, we were definitely more comfortable getting out and about that first month. After all, Kiran was more likely to catch some kind of virus from her brother than from any adult we would contact. Case in point...
At one month of age Jackson had been out...
-to his pediatrician's office twice
-to his grandparents' home
-to our accountant's office (he was born in the heat of our preparation for our tax return)
-to a restaurant in Venice so his other grandparents could get out of the house
At one month of age Kiran had been out...
-to her pediatrician's office twice
-to her grandparents' home
-to two restaurants so her parents could get out of the house
-to three movies
-to her buddy Marley's house
-to her buddy Judah's house
-to Target to buy baby supplies for her cousin Riley
-to the hospital twice to visit her Aunt Amy while awaiting her cousin Riley
-to church
-to a birthday party for Jackson's friend Jeremy
...there are probably more events I've forgotten. At any rate, the whole new baby shock has obviously worn out with Kiran. Wonder what would happen if we DID have a third kid.
Clarice
At one month of age Jackson had been out...
-to his pediatrician's office twice
-to his grandparents' home
-to our accountant's office (he was born in the heat of our preparation for our tax return)
-to a restaurant in Venice so his other grandparents could get out of the house
At one month of age Kiran had been out...
-to her pediatrician's office twice
-to her grandparents' home
-to two restaurants so her parents could get out of the house
-to three movies
-to her buddy Marley's house
-to her buddy Judah's house
-to Target to buy baby supplies for her cousin Riley
-to the hospital twice to visit her Aunt Amy while awaiting her cousin Riley
-to church
-to a birthday party for Jackson's friend Jeremy
...there are probably more events I've forgotten. At any rate, the whole new baby shock has obviously worn out with Kiran. Wonder what would happen if we DID have a third kid.
Clarice
Large, Medium, and Small
Jackson spends most of his time with kids his age (and size) and adults. Until recently, whenever I thought of him in terms of size, I always thought of him as being so little - especially next to his 6'4" tall daddy. But when Kiran joined our family, I started realizing how big Jackson has grown to be. She was this teeny little bug next to him. Then my nephew Riley was born one month and one day after Kiran was born. He was 5 weeks early and 2 lbs, 4 oz lighter than her birth weight. That's when I realized that she wasn't so tiny any more. And Jackson is gigantic next to him.
Here are the 3 Law grandchildren side by side. 27 months old, 4 weeks old, 1 day old. Large, medium, and small. Or perhaps Small, Extra Small, and Extra Extra Small.
Clarice
Here are the 3 Law grandchildren side by side. 27 months old, 4 weeks old, 1 day old. Large, medium, and small. Or perhaps Small, Extra Small, and Extra Extra Small.
Clarice
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Update on the Valiant Little Dog
My very special nephew, who I told y'all about here, made his grand appearance yesterday. He made it to 35 weeks, arriving just 5 weeks early. Lung development was obviously complete as he came out screaming like a banshee. I got to be there to welcome him. He's a cute little thing. Here he is, wrapped up like a little burrito....
Thank you all for your prayers!! More pictures at our web gallery here
Clarice
Thank you all for your prayers!! More pictures at our web gallery here
Clarice
Friday, August 01, 2008
Second Time Around
Today is the one month anniversary of the addition of Kiran to our family. It's been an amazing time.
Sometime early in the past month, my mom suggested that it seemed that I had bonded more rapidly with Kiran than I had with Jackson. I had to admit that it was true. I felt a pang of guilt for a moment, realizing that I had already violated the equal treatment ideal I thought we might want to pursue (can that happen with one son and one daughter?). But then I realized that bonding more quickly with Kiran wasn't necessarily the sign of a bad thing.
We got pregnant the first time 4 months into our marriage. It certainly wasn't planned. The baby was definitely wanted and hoped for, but not planned for at that particular time. Jackson was born just a few days after our first anniversary. Quite honestly, Ian and I had a hard time adjusting. We were still getting used to the idea of being married, having wed in our mid to late 30s, and having been rather set in our ways. We were getting used to the loss of independence and the addition of teaming. And I was just settling into a new role at work. So when Jackson came, my mind (and Ian's) was elsewhere. I don't know if I really bonded with Jackson until he started interacting with us. Until then, he was just a eating, pooping, sleeping machine. But this second time around I feel like I have fully embraced marriage (it's a blast!!) and parenthood (also a blast, albeit the hardest fun I've ever had). So bonding with Kiran is just an indicator of my overall state of mind...and that's a good thing for the family.
But something specific happened the morning Kiran was born that initiated the bonding process with her. Actually, it started the night before. Ian had a meeting so I was alone with Jackson and our night-time routine. I honestly can't remember the details of the evening. I just remember that it was awful. I think Jackson cried through his bath and resisted going to bed. He wouldn't go to sleep with me holding his hand or patting/rubbing his back or singing to him...nothing worked with me in the room. He kept coming out of his toddler bed so I ended up putting him in the crib that was transitioning from being his to hers. Then he would cry at the top of his lungs if I left the room. If I moved him back to his toddler bed, he was out again, but crying. It went on for close to two hours and I knew he was exhausted and really needed to sleep. I was exhausted and was feeling heavy and uncomfortable in my pregnant state. I think he finally cried himself to sleep. I felt like I wanted to cry myself to sleep. I was emotionally drained since Jackson hadn't had a night like that in over a year. Ian came home a bit later. We caught up and finally went to bed after midnight, with me worrying about the fact that I was exhausted from the difficult evening with Jackson, but still had to be in Inglewood at 8:00 AM to supervise students in the clinic.
I never made it down to Inglewood in the morning. Instead, I was awakened at 4:20 AM by what I thought were the Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions, which I'd been experiencing nearly daily for the past month, particularly when tired or stressed. I spent about an hour trying to ignore the discomfort. Then I starting thinking that I probably shouldn't go to work and got up to set into action a "Plan B" for covering my work responsibilities. By 6:30 AM, I had an inkling that I might actually be in labor and not just having false contractions, but I figured I would need more time to confirm. After I did what I thought I needed to do for work, I felt compelled to go into Jackson's room. I sat next to his crib for about five minutes just watching him sleep. He surprised me by awakening suddenly, much earlier than his usual 7:00 to 7:30 wakeup time, even more unusual considering his very late bedtime. He sat up quietly and just held up his arms to be held. So I pulled him out of the crib and held him on my lap. This was a rare move for him. Unlike his normal morning practice of humoring me with a brief kiss before launching into a monologue about cars and trucks, he just sat there and hugged me back. It was such a powerful moment. In fact, every time I think of it, even a month later, I get weepy. And I'm generally not a weepy person.
In that brief period of time, many things happened. I think I realized that this was probably the last morning Jackson would have as an only child. I felt a sorrow that he would no longer have our undivided attention, but would be sharing it with another child. But at the same time, I was realizing that much of his life he never actually had our undivided attention because both Ian and I are people with strong senses of responsibility to our work and to what we think God has called us to. So I mourned that we had missed a lot of moments in his life while we were busy anticipating and moving toward some unknown future. And I mourned that the previous night, my last night alone with him, was such an awful experience for both of us. And while he sat there on my lap, uncharacteristically returning my five minute hug, I started bawling (also uncharacteristically...perhaps I can blame it on the hormones of pregnancy). It was the rivers-of-tears-flowing-down-the-face, snotty-nose, uncontrollable-sobbing kind of bawling. And my boy knew something was happening. He looked up at me and held my face in his hands and asked "Mommy cwying?". Then the moment passed. I don't remember what happened next, but it was probably a conversation about what he wanted to play with before going to school.
I don't know that my thoughts crystallized in that particular moment, but this second time around I have come to realize that I can choose to mourn lost time with Jackson, or I can choose to cherish time to come with both Jackson and Kiran. So, yes, I feel much more bonded to Kiran than I did to Jackson when he was the same age. I know I need to be responsible to my work, but I commit to prioritizing my family. I don't want to just do for them, I want to be with them. I want to enjoy the present I have with them instead of focusing so hard on the future I may have with them and apart from them.
It's kind of funny/ironic. For years, I had this mantra I would quote to people - "enjoy the time". I think it's the lesson I needed to acknowledge that my moment with Jackson reminded me of. I intend to enjoy my time this second time around.
Clarice
Sometime early in the past month, my mom suggested that it seemed that I had bonded more rapidly with Kiran than I had with Jackson. I had to admit that it was true. I felt a pang of guilt for a moment, realizing that I had already violated the equal treatment ideal I thought we might want to pursue (can that happen with one son and one daughter?). But then I realized that bonding more quickly with Kiran wasn't necessarily the sign of a bad thing.
We got pregnant the first time 4 months into our marriage. It certainly wasn't planned. The baby was definitely wanted and hoped for, but not planned for at that particular time. Jackson was born just a few days after our first anniversary. Quite honestly, Ian and I had a hard time adjusting. We were still getting used to the idea of being married, having wed in our mid to late 30s, and having been rather set in our ways. We were getting used to the loss of independence and the addition of teaming. And I was just settling into a new role at work. So when Jackson came, my mind (and Ian's) was elsewhere. I don't know if I really bonded with Jackson until he started interacting with us. Until then, he was just a eating, pooping, sleeping machine. But this second time around I feel like I have fully embraced marriage (it's a blast!!) and parenthood (also a blast, albeit the hardest fun I've ever had). So bonding with Kiran is just an indicator of my overall state of mind...and that's a good thing for the family.
But something specific happened the morning Kiran was born that initiated the bonding process with her. Actually, it started the night before. Ian had a meeting so I was alone with Jackson and our night-time routine. I honestly can't remember the details of the evening. I just remember that it was awful. I think Jackson cried through his bath and resisted going to bed. He wouldn't go to sleep with me holding his hand or patting/rubbing his back or singing to him...nothing worked with me in the room. He kept coming out of his toddler bed so I ended up putting him in the crib that was transitioning from being his to hers. Then he would cry at the top of his lungs if I left the room. If I moved him back to his toddler bed, he was out again, but crying. It went on for close to two hours and I knew he was exhausted and really needed to sleep. I was exhausted and was feeling heavy and uncomfortable in my pregnant state. I think he finally cried himself to sleep. I felt like I wanted to cry myself to sleep. I was emotionally drained since Jackson hadn't had a night like that in over a year. Ian came home a bit later. We caught up and finally went to bed after midnight, with me worrying about the fact that I was exhausted from the difficult evening with Jackson, but still had to be in Inglewood at 8:00 AM to supervise students in the clinic.
I never made it down to Inglewood in the morning. Instead, I was awakened at 4:20 AM by what I thought were the Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions, which I'd been experiencing nearly daily for the past month, particularly when tired or stressed. I spent about an hour trying to ignore the discomfort. Then I starting thinking that I probably shouldn't go to work and got up to set into action a "Plan B" for covering my work responsibilities. By 6:30 AM, I had an inkling that I might actually be in labor and not just having false contractions, but I figured I would need more time to confirm. After I did what I thought I needed to do for work, I felt compelled to go into Jackson's room. I sat next to his crib for about five minutes just watching him sleep. He surprised me by awakening suddenly, much earlier than his usual 7:00 to 7:30 wakeup time, even more unusual considering his very late bedtime. He sat up quietly and just held up his arms to be held. So I pulled him out of the crib and held him on my lap. This was a rare move for him. Unlike his normal morning practice of humoring me with a brief kiss before launching into a monologue about cars and trucks, he just sat there and hugged me back. It was such a powerful moment. In fact, every time I think of it, even a month later, I get weepy. And I'm generally not a weepy person.
In that brief period of time, many things happened. I think I realized that this was probably the last morning Jackson would have as an only child. I felt a sorrow that he would no longer have our undivided attention, but would be sharing it with another child. But at the same time, I was realizing that much of his life he never actually had our undivided attention because both Ian and I are people with strong senses of responsibility to our work and to what we think God has called us to. So I mourned that we had missed a lot of moments in his life while we were busy anticipating and moving toward some unknown future. And I mourned that the previous night, my last night alone with him, was such an awful experience for both of us. And while he sat there on my lap, uncharacteristically returning my five minute hug, I started bawling (also uncharacteristically...perhaps I can blame it on the hormones of pregnancy). It was the rivers-of-tears-flowing-down-the-face, snotty-nose, uncontrollable-sobbing kind of bawling. And my boy knew something was happening. He looked up at me and held my face in his hands and asked "Mommy cwying?". Then the moment passed. I don't remember what happened next, but it was probably a conversation about what he wanted to play with before going to school.
I don't know that my thoughts crystallized in that particular moment, but this second time around I have come to realize that I can choose to mourn lost time with Jackson, or I can choose to cherish time to come with both Jackson and Kiran. So, yes, I feel much more bonded to Kiran than I did to Jackson when he was the same age. I know I need to be responsible to my work, but I commit to prioritizing my family. I don't want to just do for them, I want to be with them. I want to enjoy the present I have with them instead of focusing so hard on the future I may have with them and apart from them.
It's kind of funny/ironic. For years, I had this mantra I would quote to people - "enjoy the time". I think it's the lesson I needed to acknowledge that my moment with Jackson reminded me of. I intend to enjoy my time this second time around.
Clarice
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Are you wigh dere?
The most frequent question I get now that I am a parent of two is "How's Jackson doing with the baby?" I was a bit worried about how he would respond. He had been demonstrating a tendency toward jealousy. Actually, more than a tendency. The first time he saw me holding another child, he burst into tears, ran over as fast as his chubby 18 month old legs could take him, and grabbed the face of the offending little friend, attempting to take her face off (imagine John Travolta doing an impression of Nicolas Cage saying that...obscure John Woo reference). As recent as 3-4 months ago, he came over to hit his little friend Alaina when I was giving her a hug because she was crying.
So we were a bit worried that he would be jealous of his new little sister. The whole time during the pregnancy we kept telling him that his little sister, his baby, was growing in mommy's tummy so that he could love her. And the day he saw her for the first time, he seemed to demonstrate a genuine affection.
So we're not so worried about him feeling jealous. As soon as he comes home from school, he asks for her first. I don't even get a hug any more. He puts on this falsetto voice and says "Hi baby. Are you wigh dere?" (which we think translates to "are you right there?", although we have no idea what he means by that...she's obviously right there).
But we still have to worry about how he interacts with her. You know how some people say things like "She's so cute I just want to eat her up" or "I just want to squeeze him to death"? Well that seems to be how affectionate Jackson is about his little sister. He hugs her REALLY hard and sometimes bites her. So he's not jealous, but he just can't control how to express his feelings.
I guess she's going to grow up to be one tough chick if she can defend herself from the affections of her big brother.
Clarice
So we were a bit worried that he would be jealous of his new little sister. The whole time during the pregnancy we kept telling him that his little sister, his baby, was growing in mommy's tummy so that he could love her. And the day he saw her for the first time, he seemed to demonstrate a genuine affection.
So we're not so worried about him feeling jealous. As soon as he comes home from school, he asks for her first. I don't even get a hug any more. He puts on this falsetto voice and says "Hi baby. Are you wigh dere?" (which we think translates to "are you right there?", although we have no idea what he means by that...she's obviously right there).
But we still have to worry about how he interacts with her. You know how some people say things like "She's so cute I just want to eat her up" or "I just want to squeeze him to death"? Well that seems to be how affectionate Jackson is about his little sister. He hugs her REALLY hard and sometimes bites her. So he's not jealous, but he just can't control how to express his feelings.
I guess she's going to grow up to be one tough chick if she can defend herself from the affections of her big brother.
Clarice
Monday, July 21, 2008
A Tale of Two Families
Lawrences & Eyres
July 2006
Jackson 5 months, Harper 2 months
July 2008
Marley 8 weeks, Kiran 2 weeks
July 2006Jackson 5 months, Harper 2 months
July 2008Marley 8 weeks, Kiran 2 weeks
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Due Date
Today is Kiran's due date. According to the ultrasound technician, today was supposed to be the day when she would reach the magic age to be considered full-term. Of course, I never expected her to come on time. I thought Jackson would come late. After all, I had been told that first babies tended to come late. So I didn't expect him 10 days early, on my last official day of work. But with Kiran, I assumed that she would be early. I just didn't want to repeat the delivering on the last official day of work thing (as I did again).
So we've now had her for 2 weeks on the day she would be due.
I was approaching today's date with trepidation. Jackson's labor and delivery was so hard. I had about 36 hours of contractions before active labor really started (2 sleepless nights), 3 hours of active contractions, close to an hour of pushing, and an hour of being stitched up afterward. I was a bit scared of labor and delivery again. I don't know what made me think of doing a natural birth for Jackson (Becky, Lilia, Kathy M...). I'm a health care provider. We like drugs. So this time I wanted the epidural. If you don't know the story, we got to the hospital too late. Kiran was born one hour after they put that gown on me. I hadn't even consented to treatment. The funny thing is...I was telling Ian yesterday that I can't remember what the contractions felt like. And I can't remember what the delivery felt like either. And after months and months of telling people that we're closing shop after this one, I'm wondering if we should go ahead and let another accident happen.
I was approaching today's date with excitement. I was so curious to see what Kiran would look like. I spent most of Jackson's pregnancy telling Ian how my dominant genes would absolutely wipe out his recessive genes. Then I birthed a blond hair, blue eyed boy. The blue eyes have now become this cool light brown. But the hair is still Ian's exact color. This one seems to be expressing the dominant genes I threw her... although her eyes are also the blue/gray color that Jackson's started out to be. But I have been so curious to find out what she's going to be like. And on the day she's due, I feel like I have an idea. She's fairly mellow. She has a special little yelp she makes when she's ready to eat. And I think she knows me already. As soon as I pick her up to feed her, she stops crying and starts looking at me expectantly.
I just feel blessed. We've had an extra two weeks with our little girl. Now to look forward to the rest of our lives with her.
Clarice
So we've now had her for 2 weeks on the day she would be due.
I was approaching today's date with trepidation. Jackson's labor and delivery was so hard. I had about 36 hours of contractions before active labor really started (2 sleepless nights), 3 hours of active contractions, close to an hour of pushing, and an hour of being stitched up afterward. I was a bit scared of labor and delivery again. I don't know what made me think of doing a natural birth for Jackson (Becky, Lilia, Kathy M...). I'm a health care provider. We like drugs. So this time I wanted the epidural. If you don't know the story, we got to the hospital too late. Kiran was born one hour after they put that gown on me. I hadn't even consented to treatment. The funny thing is...I was telling Ian yesterday that I can't remember what the contractions felt like. And I can't remember what the delivery felt like either. And after months and months of telling people that we're closing shop after this one, I'm wondering if we should go ahead and let another accident happen.
I was approaching today's date with excitement. I was so curious to see what Kiran would look like. I spent most of Jackson's pregnancy telling Ian how my dominant genes would absolutely wipe out his recessive genes. Then I birthed a blond hair, blue eyed boy. The blue eyes have now become this cool light brown. But the hair is still Ian's exact color. This one seems to be expressing the dominant genes I threw her... although her eyes are also the blue/gray color that Jackson's started out to be. But I have been so curious to find out what she's going to be like. And on the day she's due, I feel like I have an idea. She's fairly mellow. She has a special little yelp she makes when she's ready to eat. And I think she knows me already. As soon as I pick her up to feed her, she stops crying and starts looking at me expectantly.
I just feel blessed. We've had an extra two weeks with our little girl. Now to look forward to the rest of our lives with her.
Clarice
More Pictures
We were so blessed to have our friend Emily, mother of one of Jackson's twin sisters, come to take pictures of Kiran a few days after she was born. She brought her clan to play with Jackson, join us for lunch, and document our new little one.
More pictures at her website. There are still more. If you're interested in seeing more pictures of the little one, let me know.
Clarice
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Valiant Little Dog
I've been awaiting the birth of a very special nephew (whose pregnancy I blogged about a bit here). I have two other very special nephews and a niece (whose antics are recounted by their parents here). This eagerly anticipated nephew is my little brother's first child, making him a blood nephew. But more than that, this little one is my brother's child.
My brother is very special to me. We used to be as different as could be. I was the band geek/honor student, who had the pretense of being a good little girl. Little brother was the athlete/fraternity boy, who had the pretense of being a baaadasss. I don't think we're soooooo different these days. And he's the only person in the world with a shared growing-up experience, which gives him a window into my soul that few others have.
Weeks ago, when I was wrestling with the possibility that Bright Flower (now known as Kiran Jasmine) might come a bit early (at 36 weeks LMP instead of the ideal 40 weeks), my brother and his wife were so supportive and encouraging of me and my concerns. Then on the day that Kiran was born, my sister-in-law was on the way to the delivery room to join me when she felt a "gush". It turns out that the gush was amniotic fluid. My little nephew was threatening to come into the world much too early - at 31 weeks LMP. That would make him about 3 lbs and without full lung development. So what I was worrying about with Bright Flower is happening with my nephew.
My sister-in-law was admitted to the hospital one week ago. She has been been prescribed bed rest with full fetal monitoring under the watchful eye of her physician until the baby is born. The goal is to get to at least 34 weeks LMP, which is another 2 weeks.
My brother and his wife have already given their little one a name. He will be Riley Madden Law. Riley means "valiant or courageous" and Madden means "little dog". So this is my prayer for nephew - that he would fulfill his name and be a feisty little fighter, like his chihuahua "siblings" that no doubt inspired his name.
So hang in there, valiant little dog. Auntie Clarice loves you and wants you to come into this world healthy and strong.
Clarice
My brother is very special to me. We used to be as different as could be. I was the band geek/honor student, who had the pretense of being a good little girl. Little brother was the athlete/fraternity boy, who had the pretense of being a baaadasss. I don't think we're soooooo different these days. And he's the only person in the world with a shared growing-up experience, which gives him a window into my soul that few others have.
Weeks ago, when I was wrestling with the possibility that Bright Flower (now known as Kiran Jasmine) might come a bit early (at 36 weeks LMP instead of the ideal 40 weeks), my brother and his wife were so supportive and encouraging of me and my concerns. Then on the day that Kiran was born, my sister-in-law was on the way to the delivery room to join me when she felt a "gush". It turns out that the gush was amniotic fluid. My little nephew was threatening to come into the world much too early - at 31 weeks LMP. That would make him about 3 lbs and without full lung development. So what I was worrying about with Bright Flower is happening with my nephew.
My sister-in-law was admitted to the hospital one week ago. She has been been prescribed bed rest with full fetal monitoring under the watchful eye of her physician until the baby is born. The goal is to get to at least 34 weeks LMP, which is another 2 weeks.
My brother and his wife have already given their little one a name. He will be Riley Madden Law. Riley means "valiant or courageous" and Madden means "little dog". So this is my prayer for nephew - that he would fulfill his name and be a feisty little fighter, like his chihuahua "siblings" that no doubt inspired his name.
So hang in there, valiant little dog. Auntie Clarice loves you and wants you to come into this world healthy and strong.
Clarice
Friday, July 04, 2008
Bright Flower's Arrival
Announcing the birth of Kiran Jasmine Eyre on July 1 at 6:10 pm at the Ronald Reagan Medical Center at UCLA.
Kiran came 15 days early and surprised us all. Clarice started contractions at about 4 am on Tuesday morning, her last official day of work. We both promptly cleared our schedules and took advantage of a few hours to finish our mental and physical preparations. We arrived at the hospital at 4:40 pm, and Clarice got settled into a bed at 5 pm while the triage nurse was completing admission proceedings. Six minutes later she felt the urge to push and her water broke. At 6:10 pm, after only 20 minutes of hard pushing, Kiran squeezed into this world with a panicked cry and then settled into looking around and blinking. She is beautiful, perfectly formed, and has dark hair; more than Jackson had by one year of age. She has great grandma's nose, just like her brother, and much less of Daddy's pronounced cranium. She is even more mellow-tempered than Jackson was and makes little squirrel noises. Mom is doing exceptionally well due to a much shorter and easier labor and delivery than last time (less than half).
The family is all home together now. Jackson has been very tender with Kiran and surprisingly not jealous. He was very excited to give her the giraffe plush he bought her and was very excited to receive the surprise that Kiran "bought" for him (more train set additions).
Kiran means beam or ray of light and Jasmine is a fragrant flowering vine (we thank all of you who offered opinions about her name). Kiran's birth stats were: 7 lbs, 5 oz and 21 inches long. For comparison, Jackson was 6 lbs, 4 oz and 19.5 inches long at birth and he came ten days early.
We were so blessed to have our good friend Emily (mother of one of Jackson's best friends) present to document Kiran's arrival. Those pictures are posted at her website. More of our own pictures are posted at our family web gallery:
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. We are exceedingly excited and grateful for God's provision and blessings.
Ian, Clarice, Jackson, and Kiran
Friday, June 27, 2008
Disappointment Over Answered Prayers
It's been quite a roller coaster week. Actually, the past three weeks were quite hectic. I had to clear the graduating dental students for graduation, write and grade a final exam, prepare a project for a Fellowship that I'm a part of, and try to be a good wife and mommy. And Ian had quite a few nights where he had meetings as well. So I started last week off a bit sleep deprived. Then Tuesday afternoon I supervised residents in the clinic and Wednesday I saw a record number of kids for checkups, cleanings, orthodontic adjustments, and fillings. I was beat.
By the time last Thursday rolled around, I was experiencing frequent mild contractions. Actually, they were a little more than mild. Wednesday night was a restless night of sleep as I kept awakening to contractions. I reported all this to my OB when I went to see him for my regular checkup. Since I was 4 weeks from our due date, he decided to do an exam to check on the status of my cervix (sorry all, there's just no better way of saying this than what it is). "Hmmm," he said, after completing his exam. That's never a good thing to hear from a doctor. He told me that the baby was still high and that I wasn't dilated at all, but that the cervix was very soft and that I was 50% effaced. He said he thought there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming in the following week, but a 50% chance the next week and a 75% chance the next. Then he asked me if I could stop working sooner so that I could get more rest.
All of that really worried me because I had read that babies weren't considered full term until they are 37 weeks. Plus, my parents were out of town at a family reunion and the new medical center, at which we were hoping to deliver, would not be open for another 10 days. I continued to have frequent contractions the next two days and noticed that my belly bump had shifted discernibly downward. I was starting to worry that Bright Flower would be coming early despite the 0% prediction - preterm, without my parents or Ian's parents in attendance, and in the old hospital. So I quickly emailed immediate family and the folks in our small group and asked that they pray that things would settle down and that Bright Flower would stay in at least until June 30, when my parents would be back and the new hospital would be open.
I started feeling much better a few days later. Less contractions, less pressure down there. But because I had sounded the alarms, my parents decided to fly back early from the reunion and Ian's parents started looking into earlier flights to Los Angeles. So I was a bit expectant when we went back to see my OB yesterday. Ian came along with me so we could ask questions, in case the OB told us to expect the little one to come in the next few days. But he did his exam and cheerily declared that things were progressing very nicely. He said that I was dilated just a little bit, consistent with my stage of pregnancy, and that the baby was still quite high, and that I was 25% effaced. He told me that he thought that there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming this week, but 50% the following week. He suggested that it might be two or three more weeks before we could expect to receive our new child. He predicted that she might be just slightly ahead of her due date. "Hmmm," I thought. That was a really different picture that what he gave me last week. So I thought I would double check with him. I told the OB that he had said I was 50% effaced the previous week and that he had said to expect the baby in 1-2 weeks. He looked at me with a baffled look on his face and questioned if that's what he really said.
I left the office feeling really disappointed. Not disappointed that Bright Flower would be staying in a bit longer. I was glad to have a bit more time to prepare for her arrival. I was just disappointed that he had given me information that caused me to sound the alarms, bringing my parents home from a trip earlier than expected, and causing quite a few people to be concerned. Then I started to wonder if it was my fault, if I had misunderstood or overreacted to the information I had received the week before. It took quite a while for me to consider that perhaps it wasn't an error on the part of my OB or an error on my part, but maybe, just maybe, God had answered prayer.
I don't know what it is. I tell myself that I believe in a God who answers prayers, yet when I ask, I really don't expect Him to answer, let alone answer in the way I requested. I still go about expecting and preparing for worst case scenarios. So this has been an important lesson, I think. I would like to try to pray expecting results and learning to recognize those results and rejoice when the answers come.
So now my parents are home and prepared to care for Jackson when Ian, Bright Flower, and I go into the hospital. This time I'm going to ask that God will bring Bright Flower sometime between July 5 and July 14, when my in-laws will be here. Since Jackson came too early for them to be here, I would love for them to be a part of welcoming Halina Kalina/Hester Sue/Fievel Honeysuckle/Helen Sharon Daphne Phoebe Heather into this world. I will wait expectantly for the answer...and rejoice at whatever the answer is.
Clarice
By the time last Thursday rolled around, I was experiencing frequent mild contractions. Actually, they were a little more than mild. Wednesday night was a restless night of sleep as I kept awakening to contractions. I reported all this to my OB when I went to see him for my regular checkup. Since I was 4 weeks from our due date, he decided to do an exam to check on the status of my cervix (sorry all, there's just no better way of saying this than what it is). "Hmmm," he said, after completing his exam. That's never a good thing to hear from a doctor. He told me that the baby was still high and that I wasn't dilated at all, but that the cervix was very soft and that I was 50% effaced. He said he thought there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming in the following week, but a 50% chance the next week and a 75% chance the next. Then he asked me if I could stop working sooner so that I could get more rest.
All of that really worried me because I had read that babies weren't considered full term until they are 37 weeks. Plus, my parents were out of town at a family reunion and the new medical center, at which we were hoping to deliver, would not be open for another 10 days. I continued to have frequent contractions the next two days and noticed that my belly bump had shifted discernibly downward. I was starting to worry that Bright Flower would be coming early despite the 0% prediction - preterm, without my parents or Ian's parents in attendance, and in the old hospital. So I quickly emailed immediate family and the folks in our small group and asked that they pray that things would settle down and that Bright Flower would stay in at least until June 30, when my parents would be back and the new hospital would be open.
I started feeling much better a few days later. Less contractions, less pressure down there. But because I had sounded the alarms, my parents decided to fly back early from the reunion and Ian's parents started looking into earlier flights to Los Angeles. So I was a bit expectant when we went back to see my OB yesterday. Ian came along with me so we could ask questions, in case the OB told us to expect the little one to come in the next few days. But he did his exam and cheerily declared that things were progressing very nicely. He said that I was dilated just a little bit, consistent with my stage of pregnancy, and that the baby was still quite high, and that I was 25% effaced. He told me that he thought that there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming this week, but 50% the following week. He suggested that it might be two or three more weeks before we could expect to receive our new child. He predicted that she might be just slightly ahead of her due date. "Hmmm," I thought. That was a really different picture that what he gave me last week. So I thought I would double check with him. I told the OB that he had said I was 50% effaced the previous week and that he had said to expect the baby in 1-2 weeks. He looked at me with a baffled look on his face and questioned if that's what he really said.
I left the office feeling really disappointed. Not disappointed that Bright Flower would be staying in a bit longer. I was glad to have a bit more time to prepare for her arrival. I was just disappointed that he had given me information that caused me to sound the alarms, bringing my parents home from a trip earlier than expected, and causing quite a few people to be concerned. Then I started to wonder if it was my fault, if I had misunderstood or overreacted to the information I had received the week before. It took quite a while for me to consider that perhaps it wasn't an error on the part of my OB or an error on my part, but maybe, just maybe, God had answered prayer.
I don't know what it is. I tell myself that I believe in a God who answers prayers, yet when I ask, I really don't expect Him to answer, let alone answer in the way I requested. I still go about expecting and preparing for worst case scenarios. So this has been an important lesson, I think. I would like to try to pray expecting results and learning to recognize those results and rejoice when the answers come.
So now my parents are home and prepared to care for Jackson when Ian, Bright Flower, and I go into the hospital. This time I'm going to ask that God will bring Bright Flower sometime between July 5 and July 14, when my in-laws will be here. Since Jackson came too early for them to be here, I would love for them to be a part of welcoming Halina Kalina/Hester Sue/Fievel Honeysuckle/Helen Sharon Daphne Phoebe Heather into this world. I will wait expectantly for the answer...and rejoice at whatever the answer is.
Clarice
Monday, June 23, 2008
On naming Bright Flower
Way back when Jackson was just a little nugget, we polled our blog audience for potential opinions on his name. Basically, Jackson was named with strong paternal influence. Ian is Scottish for John. That derivative was chosen because his father is the third John in a row in his lineage. So Jackson is English for "son of John". Jackson's middle name is Timothy after my father. We figured it was fair to honor both of our fathers (and it sure made for less effort in picking out a middle name).
Since Bright Flower is a girl, we figured we could just follow the previous pattern and name her with maternal influences. My name, Clarice, is a French name meaning "clear" or "bright". In Chinese tradition, the meaning of a child's name is very important. It encapsulates what the parents dream of for their child. So we were thinking that we could pass the legacy on to Bright Flower, partially in honor of what my parents dreamed of for me, and partly because it is our earnest prayer that this child would indeed be bright and radiant, a light in the eyes of those who see her. Well, at least that's what we hope. So in studying the hundreds of names that mean "bright" or "radiant" or "brilliant" or "luminous" or "light", here are some of our options (mind you, listing them here doesn't necessarily mean we would consider them all):
Aileen/Eileen/Elaine/Elana/Elena
Candra/Chandra/Chantrea
Dana/Danica
Eleanor/Ellie/Ellen/Helen/Helena/Galina/Yelina/Jelena/Halina/Ilona
Fievel
Hester
Kiran/Kira/Kirana
Lane/Lainey
Leonore/liora
Mahina/Meira
Nora/Neriah
Phoebe
Roberta/Robin
Roxanne
Selena
Solana/Solange
Zia
Zora
For her middle name, we've got a great two-for-one deal. My mom's name is Pansy, like the flower, and Ian's mom's name is Ivy, like the vine. Even though we're calling her flower for her womb name, we want something with a floral or vernal theme. And we hope it encapsulates the idea of "fragrance", because it is our prayer that her life would be modeled after Jesus, a fragrant offering. So here are some options for a middle name:
Daphne
Flora/Forian
Heather
Holly
Jasmine
Kalina
Kiele
Laurel
Lian/Lianne
Lila
Poppy
Sage
Sharon
Violet
Willow
Interestingly, of all of the names listed above, 3 are names of cousins (Phoebe, Daphne, Sharon) and 2 represent aunts (Helen and Heather). So those might not make a final cut, lest our mothers think their influence has been usurped (but we still love those cousins and aunts!!).
So....let the voting begin.
Clarice
UPDATE:
I forgot to include Kellen/Kellyn and Sorcha in our list of first names.
And Ian reminded me of middle name options of Hyacinth and Honeysuckle (as if!!)
Since Bright Flower is a girl, we figured we could just follow the previous pattern and name her with maternal influences. My name, Clarice, is a French name meaning "clear" or "bright". In Chinese tradition, the meaning of a child's name is very important. It encapsulates what the parents dream of for their child. So we were thinking that we could pass the legacy on to Bright Flower, partially in honor of what my parents dreamed of for me, and partly because it is our earnest prayer that this child would indeed be bright and radiant, a light in the eyes of those who see her. Well, at least that's what we hope. So in studying the hundreds of names that mean "bright" or "radiant" or "brilliant" or "luminous" or "light", here are some of our options (mind you, listing them here doesn't necessarily mean we would consider them all):
Aileen/Eileen/Elaine/Elana/Elena
Candra/Chandra/Chantrea
Dana/Danica
Eleanor/Ellie/Ellen/Helen/Helena/Galina/Yelina/Jelena/Halina/Ilona
Fievel
Hester
Kiran/Kira/Kirana
Lane/Lainey
Leonore/liora
Mahina/Meira
Nora/Neriah
Phoebe
Roberta/Robin
Roxanne
Selena
Solana/Solange
Zia
Zora
For her middle name, we've got a great two-for-one deal. My mom's name is Pansy, like the flower, and Ian's mom's name is Ivy, like the vine. Even though we're calling her flower for her womb name, we want something with a floral or vernal theme. And we hope it encapsulates the idea of "fragrance", because it is our prayer that her life would be modeled after Jesus, a fragrant offering. So here are some options for a middle name:
Daphne
Flora/Forian
Heather
Holly
Jasmine
Kalina
Kiele
Laurel
Lian/Lianne
Lila
Poppy
Sage
Sharon
Violet
Willow
Interestingly, of all of the names listed above, 3 are names of cousins (Phoebe, Daphne, Sharon) and 2 represent aunts (Helen and Heather). So those might not make a final cut, lest our mothers think their influence has been usurped (but we still love those cousins and aunts!!).
So....let the voting begin.
Clarice
UPDATE:
I forgot to include Kellen/Kellyn and Sorcha in our list of first names.
And Ian reminded me of middle name options of Hyacinth and Honeysuckle (as if!!)
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
"Are they twins?"
This is a picture of most of the women in the small group Ian and I meet with through our church. We took this in January. From left to right, J was 1 week from delivering her first baby, E was 2 months from delivery, M was 4.5 months from delivery, I was 6 months from delivery, and C on the end is still awaiting her highly anticipated delivery date. So by the time Bright Flower arrives, she will be joining 3 other infants. And that's on top of the 3 toddlers we already have in the group. Yes, we're a really fruitful group of people.
We've really enjoyed building community with the other couples in our small group. We've been focusing mainly on looking into Christian literature or the Bible for guidance in building healthy marriages (and families). But a fun thing has been watching the 3 toddlers build friendships for the half of their lives that they've been interacting on a semi-regular basis. And, of course, there's a side benefit. When your kid has two little friends he likes, whose parents you like and trust, it makes babysitting exchanges pretty easy to come by.
In the months before baby #2 and #3 of our second round of progeny arrived, Ian and I babysat for each set of parents so they could have some "date nights" before their infants came. Because the tots tend to tear up the house when we keep them at our home, we started taking them out to the Grove for dinner and a chance to see the fountain, the trolley, the live music... The thing that we have found to be endearingly funny is that more than once, with each of the two little girls we've babysat, passers-by have asked "Are they twins?" Each time, they've justified the question with a comment on how well the kids get along. I guess the ethnic differences aren't that obvious.
Here's Jackson with his twin, Alaina
And with his other twin, Harper
Pretty cute, aren't they?
Clarice
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Ian's Father's Day "Card"
For Ian's second Father's Day, Jackson and I decided to dispense with the idea of a tangible present. Instead, we made a video greeting card.
I think Daddy enjoyed his card, along with his 2 hour afternoon nap.
Clarice
I think Daddy enjoyed his card, along with his 2 hour afternoon nap.
Clarice
Thursday, June 12, 2008
"I'll love you forever!"
I had to administer a final exam yesterday. Students had 1 hour and 50 minutes to complete a 71 question multiple-choice exam. At 15 minutes to the end of the exam time, there was just one student left in the room, struggling to respond to my erudite questions. All of a sudden, a student came running in, looking as frazzled as could be. She started off by apologizing profusely, saying that although she had set her alarm early enough to make the 8:00 AM start time, she just woke up. She said she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet, which is a serious issue to a dental student. Then she begged me to let her take the final exam. "If you let me take it," she exclaimed, "I'll love you forever". Those were the words I had been waiting to hear my entire academic career. I was so moved by her declaration that I made an exception in the usual academic proceedings to allow her to take her exam late.
Just kidding.
When I heard those words, I was a bit taken aback. I replied something like "I don't know if that's the issue" or "that's not really what I'm looking for here". I don't remember what I said. I just remember being surprised. I mean, give me some justification or tell me that you want the opportunity to demonstrate what you've learned or tell me that an event like this is not consistent with how you intend to practice professionally. But "I'll love you forever"? Why should that matter when the issue has nothing to do with our (heretofore nonexistent, except in a 1:100 ratio) relationship and everything to do with the requirement that students demonstrate that they have learned.
There's something different about this generation of students. I don't quite get it. As much as I love idea of being involved in the process of equipping people to be in positions of influence (yes, dentists are people of influence), I don't know if that's really what I'm doing. Quite frustrating at times.
OK. Venting over. Now it's time to finish grading assignments from that class. Until later....
Clarice
Just kidding.
When I heard those words, I was a bit taken aback. I replied something like "I don't know if that's the issue" or "that's not really what I'm looking for here". I don't remember what I said. I just remember being surprised. I mean, give me some justification or tell me that you want the opportunity to demonstrate what you've learned or tell me that an event like this is not consistent with how you intend to practice professionally. But "I'll love you forever"? Why should that matter when the issue has nothing to do with our (heretofore nonexistent, except in a 1:100 ratio) relationship and everything to do with the requirement that students demonstrate that they have learned.
There's something different about this generation of students. I don't quite get it. As much as I love idea of being involved in the process of equipping people to be in positions of influence (yes, dentists are people of influence), I don't know if that's really what I'm doing. Quite frustrating at times.
OK. Venting over. Now it's time to finish grading assignments from that class. Until later....
Clarice
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