With a rebel yell...

Apparently, Jackson likes water.

Jackson wants....

...milk!!

Pathetic looking face, isn't it. As if it was the end of the world. In fact, we call this the "end of the world" cry. I saw this look 6-8 times a day his first 3 months and 4-6 times a day since then. It's the face Jackson makes when Ian stops feeding him for a moment to help him burp before inhaling the rest of his formula (so he doesn't lose it on the front of his onesie) and the face I see when switching him from one "milk container" to the other.

There was one nice thing about this cry. We knew exactly what it meant and we knew what we had to do to appease it. In general, "cry interpretation" has been fairly straightforward. Jackson usually only cries to have three basic needs met - when he's hungry, when he's sleepy, and when he's tired with his current environment. And the signs are usually fairly clear which of the three events must be occurring.

But something interesting happened last week. My family was visiting. My dad had Jackson on his lap and they were watching my brother and sister-in-law's dogs run around. My dad sat Jackson back on the couch and he started crying. We couldn't figure out what happened until my dad lifted him up...in sight of the dogs again. We experimented a bit, and sure enough, every time the dogs were out of sight, Jackson cried. When they were in view he was happy again. It was a sobering moment. The little boyboy is beginning to express more than just his needs. He's actually expressing his wants. And that's not the end of it. After 2 months of pretty easy bedtimes, he's taken to crying at the top of his lungs when we put him down in his crib.

Wants to look at the dogs. Doesn't want to go to bed. Wants to be held. Doesn't want to sit in his carseat. Suddenly parenting is getting difficult. Now we have to discern what it is that he wants and decide if he really needs it. I'm realizing what a fine line this is. After all, I want him to feel significant in our eyes, but not as if he's the center of the universe. At the same time I know I am wiser than he is at this point in time and I need to help him learn to make good choices. But I also need to learn to choose my battles so that I don't crush him when it would be no big deal to acquiesce to his wants. Oh boy. Just when you think you're getting the hang of parenting they go and mature a bit more on you, changing the whole dynamic.

Clarice

Bathtime for Jackson

A vignette captured by Grandpa Law, with special appearances by Grandma Law and Uncle Randy

Empty Nest

Last weekend I went to a party where the infant set swarmed. At one point, there were 3 nursing babies on the sofa. I would have been there with them too, if Jackson weren't at home being cared for by his Uncle Bob and Auntie Melanie. And the day before, I saw 3 friends who are all due in the next 3 weeks. The week before, a couple I've mentored for years had a baby and two weeks prior Ian's best friend and his wife (the friend's wife, not Ian's wife) also had a baby. Babies all around. Pregnancies abound. All this activity has made me feel rather nostalgic. I'm suffering from a variation of empty nest syndrome.

It's kind of funny. When I was pregnant, most of the time I couldn't wait for Jackson to come out. Part of it was exasperation at the discomfort of the pregnant condition. In my third trimester, one of the women I work with would regularly ask me how I was feeling. I'd usually complain about the weight gain, the annoyance of Jackson's hiccups 5-6 times a day (and late at night), and the discomfort of his favorite position, with his foot shoved up against my last rib. And she would always beam and say, "Don't you love it? Isn't it all so dear?" Well, no, I thought. It was uncomfortable. And I wanted to know what he would be like. I was eagerly anticipating the opportunity to find out what he would be like.

But now my pregnancy is over. So I've been reminiscing with these new and expectant moms about the last and first few weeks of pregnancy. And I've realized that there are times when I miss aspects of being pregnant. Now that it's over, I realized that it was dear to enfold his entire being within mine, right next to my heart (literally). I remember watching him when he was first born and realizing that the cute little head tilt he would do when crying was the same head tilt that applied enough pressure to my bladder to make me go running. The little kick that he made against my bottom right rib is the same kick that he now uses to rock himself in his carseat. Now, as he was in utero, he's a mostly mellow kid, who only gets really fussy when he's hungry or sleepy. I'm realizing that he was giving me hints about his personality even before exiting that world for this one. And I marvel that there are people who are confident that life begins at birth rather than in utero. I marvel that he's the same person he was before he was born. I do miss the breathless anticipation of waiting to see how those in utero hints about personality will bear forth. But I am so thankful that I have the rest of my life to watch how what I see now, ex utero, blooms as he grows to manhood.

Clarice

Jackson Pollack

Today Jackson explored painting by using his body. He was moving his arms up and down.

That's the note that was on today's pink sheet, our daily report of Jackson's activities. And this is the picture we were given.


I went to pick up Jackson for the first time on Tuesday. His teacher sat down with me to report on his day. "We finger painted today," she said. I had to stifle a laugh. I mean...really! He's not even 6 months old. What's he going to paint? She continued on. "Here are some pictures." Then I laughed out loud. This time because it was so darn cute. But now that I'm looking at his works, perhaps I laughed too soon. His style is somewhat reminiscent of Jackson Pollack's. Not so angst-ridden, but look at how he chooses to blend his colors. I think we have a budding artiste here.


Clarice

Washing dishes...

...before Jackson


...and after Jackson.


'Nuff said.

Immunity

Jackson got sick last week after his 3rd day at day-care, we think. He got a mild fever which kept him up Monday night. Then he was congested and couldn't breathe Tuesday night. Then he just didn't want to sleep Wednesday night. He finally slept through the night like usual Thursday night. Not so bad for a first illness...

When we interviewed for the day-care, we were warned that Jackson would get sick in the first two weeks, but that by the time he left day-care in a few years, he would be so much stronger. The children experiment with new toys, then share them and diseases are transmitted. But that's okay, because it makes their immune systems stronger than children who are not in group settings.

So they say.

So why is it that I just got Jackson's illness? I'm 35 years old! I've been working on my immune system in group settings a whole lot longer than Jackson's five months and I'm not stronger!

It's all a big lie.

I think I'm going to be getting sick a whole lot now and I'm very disappointed in my immune system. Come to think of it, though, I never went to day-care myself, unless you count the nursery at church. Maybe he will be stronger.

-Ian

Second Day of School

So this is how Jackson was dressed for his second day of school today.


For his second day of mingling with the children of UCLA's finest young professors, my son was dressed in what's pretty much considered the baby version of a wife beater. When I came home from work today, I was rather puzzled to find him wearing this particular outfit. After all, I had pulled that "emergency onesie" out of our diaper bag late last night at a car dealership (story to come later) because Jackson released his version of yogurt all over the front of his cute "first day of school outfit." Surely Ian didn't forget to find another special outfit for his second day of school. When I diplomatically said to Ian, "You let him go to school dressed in that!!!" He just shrugged and said "It was clean." Sigh. I guess moms and dads have different perspectives on school wardrobes. Then again, Ian was the kid wearing plaid pants with striped shirts to school when everyone else had jeans and white sneakers. Fortunately, Jackson wasn't snubbed for his fashion choices. Here he is making a move on one of the two girls in his class. Go, baby!!


Clarice

First Day of School

Yesterday was Jackson's first day at day care. We were so blessed to have been offered a position at one of UCLA's day care centers. We had heard it was very difficult to get a position. One of my colleagues who put her daughter on the waiting list when she was just a few months pregnant is still waiting. Her daughter is almost 2 now and she's expecting her second child. We were starting to think that one of us would have to stay home with Jackson. So we were very surprised to be offered a position just one month earlier than Ian was planning on going back to work. When I tell my colleagues that Jackson got in, they all ask who I paid off to get in. Didn't do any such thing. We just kept praying for some kind of solution for the problem of two working parents. Who knows what went on in the "boardroom" to make this possible. I did hear that they work hard at creating diversity and that they try hard to represent the whole campus. I guess we were just the right people at the right time.

We have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, we'd both like to just hang out at home with him all day long. But someone has to make it possible for us to live. And neither of us has a strong sense that we need to leave the opportunities we have in our work. On the other hand, he's in a good place with a great reputation. This also means he's in the pipeline for UCLA preschool and possibly the elementary school. And Ian and I always wanted for him to be used to being around a lot of people so that he could get accustomed to developing relationships with others.

So Ian took him in yesterday for his transition period. My mom was so cute about it. She went "back to school" shopping and bought a few cute outfits for him. After all, she said, it was his first day of "school." I had to laugh a the idea of the little boyboy going to "school." It's just day care after all. And he's only 5 months old. But the folks at the center take it pretty seriously. There are 3 full-time teachers for the 10 kids. And the truth is, he's not just there biding time waiting for us to come get him for the few hours before he goes to bed. He is in a period of exploration and discovery.

When I started thinking about it from that perspective, I started realizing what we were getting into with education. Really, his monthly tuition is what I paid for a year at UC Irvine. Of course, my college days were way back in the last millenium. They've raised tuition significantly since then. It's still quite an expensive monthly bill we're facing. The Center doesn't like us to think that. They have a motto: Early education isn't expensive. It's priceless. So this is the path we're starting him on. Ugh! On the academic track at 5 months! Although I don't intend to abdicate responsibility for his future success to others, I certainly want to see him in environments that can position him to be equipped to pursue with passion a future that will maximize his talents. So I look forward to seeing how he grows as this day care center partners with us in educating our little man.

Clarice

Jackson can sit!

Well, actually, we have to prop him on his arms and he usually falls over after about 5 seconds. But ain't he cute?


Clarice

Conflicted about the conflict

Probably won't be written with much flair. I just need to throw this out to the blogosphere for input. I feel a bit conflicted about this Middle East conflict. I was recently invited to go to Damascus, Syria. The Syrian Society of Pediatric Dentists wants me to give a few lectures. They haven't specified what they want me to talk about, but I'm not going to worry about whether or not I can pull it off because they offered to pay my airfare and house me. Ian and I were so excited. I mean, how often do you get the chance to go to the city Saul/Paul was traveling to when he encountered Jesus? On someone else's dime?

Up until a week ago, the only conflict was how well Jackson would take to a >25 hour flight. But my parents solved that by offering to watch Jackson for us so we wouldn't have to worry. But now there's more to ponder. It's obviously not the safest place to be. I read that Israeli planes were buzzing over the President/Prime Minister's house a couple of weeks ago. Now there's the word that folks suspect that Syria's a serious backer or Hezbollah. So what to do? I'd almost like to withdraw in a show of support for Israel. I understand that God's got a tender spot for that people group. And I definitely want to support the one valid democracy in the Middle East. And now that I have a little kid to care for, I don't want to take any more risks than I have to. But, man, the chance to travel to that region of the world. And to bring the presence of God, which lives within me, to this area which very much needs His truth... What to do?

Clarice

Being vs. Doing

When I observe Jackson, he doesn’t do anything. Yet. He just is.

Jackson likes to wake up and stare, coo and suck his thumb. He loves smiling at people and studying faces. Later in the day he giggles at himself in the mirror, shadow boxes his piano, shrieks and squawks in joy and boredom, lifts his legs, lowers them, etc. At the end of each waking period, he slows down, puts on his “duh” face and drools. He isn’t productive. He isn’t efficient. He doesn’t appear to be making the most of the day that God has made, like we adults strive for. He is just a little being who simply enjoys “being.”

Me, on the other hand, can’t stand just "being" for too long. Life is too short. I’ve got bills to pay, dreams to fulfill. There are a few times when I can veg out. When I’ve worked several weeks on a project at breakneck pace, I have a hard time relaxing. I’m still in "do" mode for a few days. Unless I’m burnt out and then I may lounge for a week. But before long, I’m back on task again. I think God calls me to be productive and proactive, wise with the use of my time.

But God also calls us to "be" and stop trying so hard to do our own thing. That’s why the Beattitudes in Matthew 5 and Luke 6 are not the do-attitudes. That’s why Jesus chided Martha who complained of having to work while her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. Mary was a doer, but Jesus said it was better for Martha to spend time with him. That’s also why He said we should become like little children. We are called to be people of character and to enjoy our God.

Guys actually have the ability to “be” in a way that is special to guys - and gals seem to have trouble comprehending this ability. As Dana Evans confirmed on Sunday in the food court, guys actually have the ability to think about nothing. When I was dating Clarice, she once asked me what I was thinking about. I must have had a blank “duh” stare on my face, although I prefer to think of it as a pleasant, contemplative complexion. I actually was thinking about nothing, but “nothing” is an unacceptable response and she must have thought I had something to hide. This is one of those arguments that you can never win because if you plead your case too hard that you were actually thinking of nothing at all for a moment, just vegging out in a relaxive state, then it has negative character and mental health connotations. I suppose even simply thinking of “nothing” has mental health connotations. When Dana mentioned that the ability guys have to think about nothing is the last thing in the world that makes sense to a woman, I felt vindicated. Perhaps this is our way of “being” in a world full of “doing.” Perhaps it’s a guy thing and gals wouldn’t understand.

Apparently, it’s also a baby thing. At least a baby-boy thing. I’m just glad to know that Jackson is like his father. And I'm grateful I don't drool like my son. At the end of a long, fulfilling day of doing, we can just “be” for a moment.

Sending off LenaKim

My former roommate, LenaKim, got married a few weeks ago. It was such a lovely celebration. She cried during the vows, which made me a bit misty. Neither of us really like to cry in public. So now she's LenaKim Robinson. I can't wait to find out how she settles into married life. See, I've lived in 16 different housing arrangements since graduating from high school. Two of those were life changing. Of the 6 other women who shared those times with me, I'm the first to get married. And now Lena. I believe that living the way I did in those two households prepared me for marriage. Now I get to find out how it prepared Lena.

These are the women of my two households on the day I was sent off into the wild world of marriage.


Don't they just radiate peace and joy? The two on the bottom right are Hannah and Julie. I only lived with them for six months, but it was such an amazing time. We met when our church decided to start a summer day camp for the middle school kids in Boston's Chinatown. The summer impacted us so much we decided to move into Chinatown. We thought we could have a bigger impact on the lives of these urban kids if we lived where they did instead of commuting in from the more comfortable areas of the city. We also thought that if we wanted kids to know that God loved them, we should be demonstrating that same love. So an "open door" policy evolved. Kids would just come over after school to hang out... and eat ice cream. And now, eleven years later, when I go back to visit my old church in Boston, I'm known as one of the first residents of 5B. And the response is the same..."ahhhh, yes, 5B (nod of approval)." Hannah still lives there, continuing to serve the kids of Chinatown, and Julie has moved to Thailand to serve the people there. Beyond demonstrating love by creating an inviting home, I experienced love from the other two in the form of generosity. Hannah and Julie believed in my place in that household so strongly that they paid my rent one month when I couldn't afford it and for repayment only asked that I pass on the blessing. They also paid for me to join them for a roommates trip down to Florida over Spring Break. I aspire to embrace that kind of generosity for my life and my marriage.

The other 4 women who stood beside me for my wedding are from my days in the House on 6th. Clee, M, LenaKim, and Cal. I lived there for nearly 4 years. The idea for this household started toward the end of a 2-year period of living alone. I was starting to understand the importance of having a community of people to serve and serve with. I was inspired by how the people of the early church lived and wanted to see if it was possible to live like that today. It turned out that the other "original gangsters" were on the same page. We set out to create a household where we could demonstrate the kind of love that would draw others - where people could feel a sense of community. There was a period of time when we had people over every Sunday to play Settlers of Catan or watch Alias. We had two small groups meeting weekly and one large party per month. It was crazy, but it was such a blessed time of loving people and being loved in return. We also had a few mantras to remind us to take on a mentality of servanthood. "Sacrifice is the context for miracle." That's something our pastor always says. If we want to see miracles, we have to be willing to make sacrifices. "Everyone should try to outserve the other." We didn't have chores. Instead, our goal was to outserve everyone else. It was a win-win situation. Either someone outserved me, and whatever had to be done to maintain the home was done, or I outserved someone else, in which case, I "won" the goal of outserving. We also had an unspoken agreement to right wrongs. Not just to clear the air from conflict, but also that both the "offended" and the "offender" would have opportunities to grow in character. I aspire to expand that kind of servanthood and sacrifice in my life and my marriage.

So now when I go to weddings, I remember my own marriage vows and the women who were a part of preparing me to make those promises. I am thankful to my sisters and I pray that my part in these amazing households could be a part of preparing them for the same lifelong commitment. And I pray for LenaKim Robinson in this amazing time in her life.

Clarice

More pictures of the wedding here

Explosive 4th of July

Ian and I took Jackson to Orlando, FL over the long 4th of July weekend. As we were planning the trip, people kept asking us if we would be taking him to Disney World or Universal. We didn't expect to do any of those things. In fact, we figured we'd probably just hang out at home. We were celebrating Independence Day with an Eyre clan gathering. Ian's brother and his family live in Orlando. His sister and parents live in Atlanta. We all met up in Orlando so the 3 generations could spend time together. Until Independence Day, the most exciting thing we did (besides stay up until midnight playing Settlers of Catan) was go visit the Visitor's Center at Roy's workplace, Wycliffe Bible Translators. It really was exciting hearing about their dreams to make sure that every people group who needed it would have a translation of the Bible in their heart language.

But on Independence Day, we got to see something semi-historical. We saw the launch of the space shuttle, Discovery.


And it's probably a good thing that we didn't plan to take Jackson anywhere touristy that would have cost a lot of money. Here's his reaction to the history going on behind him.



In the evening, we celebrated with fireworks. Legal ones, of course.




Altogether a wonderful celebration of family and country.

Clarice

Announcing EyreFilms

Ian bought a .mac account last week. We've been having some fun pretending to be web designers. I've decided that I'll keep my day job. Not much there now, but we hope to add more as time goes by. Ian has one of his short films there as well as his stunt reel. We also have a link there to our family site, where we have a little music video I made from Jackson's first 7 weeks of life. Just click the title bar above to get there. It's at http://web.mac.com/eyrefilms. Enjoy!

Clarice

VERY advanced

I think our baby is learning how to whistle...

How are YOU?

I overheard an interesting exchange yesterday when I was paying for purchases at the student store. It went like this:

Cashier - "Hey! How are you doing? What's new with you?"
Customer (whom she obviously knew) - "Oh, not much. How about yourself?"
Cashier - "Oh, I'm fine. And you?"
Customer - "Great. How are you doing?"
Cashier - "Uh...that'll be $6.98. Do you need a bag for that?"

I started laughing a bit. I wondered if they realized that they had each asked the other how they were doing twice and answered the other about how they were doing twice. And I realized that I do the same thing myself. How often do I ask someone how they're doing without listening to (...or maybe even caring) about the response? And how often do I just toss out "fine" as a response without really thinking about if I'm really fine at that moment? I think I want to make it a goal to listen to the answers of others when I ask how they're doing and answer honestly when asked. So test me out next time I see you.

Clarice

Fun with cherries

The other day I was driving home and I stopped next to one of the folks you see in the medians of the roads selling fruit. It was a particularly hot day. She was looking forlorn, and I was craving fruit, so I bought a bag of cherries. It turned out to be a rather unique bag of cherries. There were at least a dozen "special ones" in the bag. Makes you wonder what kind of chemicals the cherries got. We ended up turning it into a Rorshach test of sorts. It was more fun than looking for shapes in the clouds.


We thought the upper left one looked like a cherry with a cucumber...or perhaps a person with a nose like a muppet. The upper middle one looked like it had a jalapeno pepper attached. We also thought the whole thing looked like a bird of some sort. The upper right one was a cherry with a heart on the outside. The lower left was just siamese twin cherries...or a butt. And then there was the one on the lower right.... What do you see?

Clarice

Growing up

Jackson slept through the night last night. Actually, that makes it 4 nights in a row. We put him in his crib between 8:30 and 9:00 PM, turned off the light, and walked away. No crying, no fussing. Just the sound of a thumb being sucked, followed by silent slumber until 7:00 AM, when he woke us up with his morning call and morning smile. I was ecstatic at first. Thank you Babywise!! Continous sleep!!! But now I'm a little sad. Feeding time was my special time with him. And it used to happen 7-9 times a day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not asking for middle of the night awakenings any more, but now he's down to 4-5 feedings. And because I'm back at work now, more than half of those feedings are with a bottle...with Ian. Meanwhile, I feed "the pump." I think I'm also sad because I'm struck with the reality that my baby's growing up. Next thing you know, I'll be doing the mother-son dance with him at his wedding. He's only 3.5 months old and he's already outgrown some of his endearing newborn behaviors. No more mildly squeaking monkey. Now he's a screaming banshee. No more endearingly dependent floppy head. Now he's a bobble head. No more burrowing into our necks to sleep. Now he wants to crane his head around to look at everything. No more pacifier checks every 5 minutes. Now he finds his own thumb. No more startling assplosions to let us know when to change his diaper. Now he stealthily unloads his bowels right before we enter public places, or worse...closed quarters. Everyone talks about how fast they grow up. I just didn't expect to be agreeing with the fact so soon.

Clarice

Jealous Cousin

Jackson met his "cousins" Peanut and Olivia for the first time a few weeks ago. Peanut and Olivia are my brother Randy and sister-in-law Amy's chihuahuas. It was such a fun thing to witness. Jackson has been demonstrating an interest in seeing new things. I don't know what he thought of the dogs, but he kept staring at them.



I think they were rather intrigued with him also. Peanut's always mellow, so he plopped down next to Jackson. Olivia's more hyper, but she paused for a few minutes in her usual romping around to stare at him for a spell.

Peanut and Olivia came back to visit again last week. We couldn't wait to see how Jackson would react again. Turns out Olivia's reaction was more interesting. You see, Olivia's always been a significant center of attention. Randy adopted Peanut from Amy's parents when he was already 9 or 10 years old and slowing down a bit. But Olivia was born into the family and has always been such a comic figure that we've enjoyed countless hours petting her and vying for her attention.

Then came Jackson... The first human grandchild. On this visit last week, Olivia pranced in as she always does, running around in circles, greeting everyone. But not long into the visit, she ran to Amy and hid her face in Amy's neck. Every time we brought Jackson around to get a better view of her, she turned away, refusing to make eye contact with him. Apparently she pouts like this whenever she's not the center of attention. Who knew dogs were like this too. Well at least we've had a preview of sibling rivalry.

Clarice