Disappointment Over Answered Prayers

It's been quite a roller coaster week. Actually, the past three weeks were quite hectic. I had to clear the graduating dental students for graduation, write and grade a final exam, prepare a project for a Fellowship that I'm a part of, and try to be a good wife and mommy. And Ian had quite a few nights where he had meetings as well. So I started last week off a bit sleep deprived. Then Tuesday afternoon I supervised residents in the clinic and Wednesday I saw a record number of kids for checkups, cleanings, orthodontic adjustments, and fillings. I was beat.

By the time last Thursday rolled around, I was experiencing frequent mild contractions. Actually, they were a little more than mild. Wednesday night was a restless night of sleep as I kept awakening to contractions. I reported all this to my OB when I went to see him for my regular checkup. Since I was 4 weeks from our due date, he decided to do an exam to check on the status of my cervix (sorry all, there's just no better way of saying this than what it is). "Hmmm," he said, after completing his exam. That's never a good thing to hear from a doctor. He told me that the baby was still high and that I wasn't dilated at all, but that the cervix was very soft and that I was 50% effaced. He said he thought there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming in the following week, but a 50% chance the next week and a 75% chance the next. Then he asked me if I could stop working sooner so that I could get more rest.

All of that really worried me because I had read that babies weren't considered full term until they are 37 weeks. Plus, my parents were out of town at a family reunion and the new medical center, at which we were hoping to deliver, would not be open for another 10 days. I continued to have frequent contractions the next two days and noticed that my belly bump had shifted discernibly downward. I was starting to worry that Bright Flower would be coming early despite the 0% prediction - preterm, without my parents or Ian's parents in attendance, and in the old hospital. So I quickly emailed immediate family and the folks in our small group and asked that they pray that things would settle down and that Bright Flower would stay in at least until June 30, when my parents would be back and the new hospital would be open.

I started feeling much better a few days later. Less contractions, less pressure down there. But because I had sounded the alarms, my parents decided to fly back early from the reunion and Ian's parents started looking into earlier flights to Los Angeles. So I was a bit expectant when we went back to see my OB yesterday. Ian came along with me so we could ask questions, in case the OB told us to expect the little one to come in the next few days. But he did his exam and cheerily declared that things were progressing very nicely. He said that I was dilated just a little bit, consistent with my stage of pregnancy, and that the baby was still quite high, and that I was 25% effaced. He told me that he thought that there would be a 0% chance of the baby coming this week, but 50% the following week. He suggested that it might be two or three more weeks before we could expect to receive our new child. He predicted that she might be just slightly ahead of her due date. "Hmmm," I thought. That was a really different picture that what he gave me last week. So I thought I would double check with him. I told the OB that he had said I was 50% effaced the previous week and that he had said to expect the baby in 1-2 weeks. He looked at me with a baffled look on his face and questioned if that's what he really said.

I left the office feeling really disappointed. Not disappointed that Bright Flower would be staying in a bit longer. I was glad to have a bit more time to prepare for her arrival. I was just disappointed that he had given me information that caused me to sound the alarms, bringing my parents home from a trip earlier than expected, and causing quite a few people to be concerned. Then I started to wonder if it was my fault, if I had misunderstood or overreacted to the information I had received the week before. It took quite a while for me to consider that perhaps it wasn't an error on the part of my OB or an error on my part, but maybe, just maybe, God had answered prayer.

I don't know what it is. I tell myself that I believe in a God who answers prayers, yet when I ask, I really don't expect Him to answer, let alone answer in the way I requested. I still go about expecting and preparing for worst case scenarios. So this has been an important lesson, I think. I would like to try to pray expecting results and learning to recognize those results and rejoice when the answers come.

So now my parents are home and prepared to care for Jackson when Ian, Bright Flower, and I go into the hospital. This time I'm going to ask that God will bring Bright Flower sometime between July 5 and July 14, when my in-laws will be here. Since Jackson came too early for them to be here, I would love for them to be a part of welcoming Halina Kalina/Hester Sue/Fievel Honeysuckle/Helen Sharon Daphne Phoebe Heather into this world. I will wait expectantly for the answer...and rejoice at whatever the answer is.

Clarice

On naming Bright Flower

Way back when Jackson was just a little nugget, we polled our blog audience for potential opinions on his name. Basically, Jackson was named with strong paternal influence. Ian is Scottish for John. That derivative was chosen because his father is the third John in a row in his lineage. So Jackson is English for "son of John". Jackson's middle name is Timothy after my father. We figured it was fair to honor both of our fathers (and it sure made for less effort in picking out a middle name).

Since Bright Flower is a girl, we figured we could just follow the previous pattern and name her with maternal influences. My name, Clarice, is a French name meaning "clear" or "bright". In Chinese tradition, the meaning of a child's name is very important. It encapsulates what the parents dream of for their child. So we were thinking that we could pass the legacy on to Bright Flower, partially in honor of what my parents dreamed of for me, and partly because it is our earnest prayer that this child would indeed be bright and radiant, a light in the eyes of those who see her. Well, at least that's what we hope. So in studying the hundreds of names that mean "bright" or "radiant" or "brilliant" or "luminous" or "light", here are some of our options (mind you, listing them here doesn't necessarily mean we would consider them all):

Aileen/Eileen/Elaine/Elana/Elena
Candra/Chandra/Chantrea
Dana/Danica
Eleanor/Ellie/Ellen/Helen/Helena/Galina/Yelina/Jelena/Halina/Ilona
Fievel
Hester
Kiran/Kira/Kirana
Lane/Lainey
Leonore/liora
Mahina/Meira
Nora/Neriah
Phoebe
Roberta/Robin
Roxanne
Selena
Solana/Solange
Zia
Zora

For her middle name, we've got a great two-for-one deal. My mom's name is Pansy, like the flower, and Ian's mom's name is Ivy, like the vine. Even though we're calling her flower for her womb name, we want something with a floral or vernal theme. And we hope it encapsulates the idea of "fragrance", because it is our prayer that her life would be modeled after Jesus, a fragrant offering. So here are some options for a middle name:

Daphne
Flora/Forian
Heather
Holly
Jasmine
Kalina
Kiele
Laurel
Lian/Lianne
Lila
Poppy
Sage
Sharon
Violet
Willow

Interestingly, of all of the names listed above, 3 are names of cousins (Phoebe, Daphne, Sharon) and 2 represent aunts (Helen and Heather). So those might not make a final cut, lest our mothers think their influence has been usurped (but we still love those cousins and aunts!!).

So....let the voting begin.

Clarice

UPDATE:
I forgot to include Kellen/Kellyn and Sorcha in our list of first names.
And Ian reminded me of middle name options of Hyacinth and Honeysuckle (as if!!)

"Are they twins?"

This is a picture of most of the women in the small group Ian and I meet with through our church. We took this in January. From left to right, J was 1 week from delivering her first baby, E was 2 months from delivery, M was 4.5 months from delivery, I was 6 months from delivery, and C on the end is still awaiting her highly anticipated delivery date. So by the time Bright Flower arrives, she will be joining 3 other infants. And that's on top of the 3 toddlers we already have in the group. Yes, we're a really fruitful group of people.

We've really enjoyed building community with the other couples in our small group. We've been focusing mainly on looking into Christian literature or the Bible for guidance in building healthy marriages (and families). But a fun thing has been watching the 3 toddlers build friendships for the half of their lives that they've been interacting on a semi-regular basis. And, of course, there's a side benefit. When your kid has two little friends he likes, whose parents you like and trust, it makes babysitting exchanges pretty easy to come by.

In the months before baby #2 and #3 of our second round of progeny arrived, Ian and I babysat for each set of parents so they could have some "date nights" before their infants came. Because the tots tend to tear up the house when we keep them at our home, we started taking them out to the Grove for dinner and a chance to see the fountain, the trolley, the live music... The thing that we have found to be endearingly funny is that more than once, with each of the two little girls we've babysat, passers-by have asked "Are they twins?" Each time, they've justified the question with a comment on how well the kids get along. I guess the ethnic differences aren't that obvious.

Here's Jackson with his twin, Alaina




And with his other twin, Harper




Pretty cute, aren't they?

Clarice

Ian's Father's Day "Card"

For Ian's second Father's Day, Jackson and I decided to dispense with the idea of a tangible present. Instead, we made a video greeting card.



I think Daddy enjoyed his card, along with his 2 hour afternoon nap.

Clarice

"I'll love you forever!"

I had to administer a final exam yesterday. Students had 1 hour and 50 minutes to complete a 71 question multiple-choice exam. At 15 minutes to the end of the exam time, there was just one student left in the room, struggling to respond to my erudite questions. All of a sudden, a student came running in, looking as frazzled as could be. She started off by apologizing profusely, saying that although she had set her alarm early enough to make the 8:00 AM start time, she just woke up. She said she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet, which is a serious issue to a dental student. Then she begged me to let her take the final exam. "If you let me take it," she exclaimed, "I'll love you forever". Those were the words I had been waiting to hear my entire academic career. I was so moved by her declaration that I made an exception in the usual academic proceedings to allow her to take her exam late.

Just kidding.

When I heard those words, I was a bit taken aback. I replied something like "I don't know if that's the issue" or "that's not really what I'm looking for here". I don't remember what I said. I just remember being surprised. I mean, give me some justification or tell me that you want the opportunity to demonstrate what you've learned or tell me that an event like this is not consistent with how you intend to practice professionally. But "I'll love you forever"? Why should that matter when the issue has nothing to do with our (heretofore nonexistent, except in a 1:100 ratio) relationship and everything to do with the requirement that students demonstrate that they have learned.

There's something different about this generation of students. I don't quite get it. As much as I love idea of being involved in the process of equipping people to be in positions of influence (yes, dentists are people of influence), I don't know if that's really what I'm doing. Quite frustrating at times.

OK. Venting over. Now it's time to finish grading assignments from that class. Until later....

Clarice

Growing up with Cousins

Jackson has a little cousin who is 3 months older than he is. This is Jackson and Kaitlyn last July when they were 17 and 20 months.


Unfortunately, since they live in Florida, we only get to see them about twice a year if we're lucky (blessed) enough. It's been a bit sad to be so far from his closest cousins. Because I have a large extended family, Jackson has tons of second cousins and third cousins and kids we consider family although no blood ties are involved at all. And of course, he has dog cousins also. So he hasn't been deprived of the kind of huge family events I had growing up with my 23 first cousins and innumerable second cousins. But we're sad we don't get to see Jackson grow up alongside Ian's brother's kids.

But Bright Flower will have a local cousin to grow up with. My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first child 6 weeks after Bright Flower is due. They live about a mile from us so theoretically we should be able to see them more often than we do the other cousins. Of course, they're planning to move around the time the baby is born. Something about LA not being a great place to raise a kid (as if the OC is going to be that much better!!).

It's been fun going through pregnancy with my sister-in-law. I didn't get this experience with my other sister-in-law when she was expecting Kaitlyn. We didn't know we were pregnant when our families got together when Becky was 4 months pregnant and baby cousin Kaitlyn was 6 weeks old the next time we saw them when I was 7 months pregnant.

But Amy and I have been able to do some side by side comparisons. Here's some footage of our belly profile comparisons (and some bonus footage of Jackson shot on Mother's Day).



Clarice

all-you-can-eat seafood buffet

Today the family went to Todai to celebrate Jackson's grandfather Gung-Gung's birthday, pictured here with Clarice and Tai-Poh.Here's a candid of Uncle Randy and Aunt Amy racing through a pile of crab legs before Jackson notices.And here is Jackson with his grandmother Poh-Poh taking time out to look at the camera but not to stop eating those yummy mushrooms. Jackson loves shrimp and "crabbie-crabbie" ever since Gung-Gung shared Alaskan King Crab legs with him at Christmas. What was he thinking? He's only two and eats like a king. While Jackson did not finish everything on that plate, he did devour a whole plate of fruit until his belly button actually popped out a bit and we had to cut him off. Then he ran about half a mile (literally 2500 feet) inside the restaurant and visited with many customers. We love all-you-can-eat Todai.