Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It’s Just a Movie

I consider myself a macho man. In the nineties I used to joke about becoming a sensitive nineties male. Now I’m a dad and I’ve become a softy.

For example, the other day I watched Patriot Games for the umpteenth time…and I found myself getting really emotional at the scenes where Harrison Ford is trying to protect his wife and daughter from harm. I even shuddered when his wife and daughter were in the car accident.

So, have I become a sensitive new millennial man, or was I just a callous single guy a decade ago?

Ian

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Letters, Numbers, and Symbols

Some of you have seen this videoclip I've posted of Jackson enjoying an alphabet toy that his Uncle Roy and Aunt Becky gave him for Christmas.



After receiving this toy eight months ago, Jackson started showing some interest in letters. He already knew his ABC song and could count to 12. So we thought we would try to help him learn to read some letters and numbers in a low key way. On our drives to and from daycare, we would point things out to him in well intended teachable moments.

So here's what he now knows at two and a half years.

He can recognize the letters E and M with great certainty. The letters S and W sometimes.

He can spot the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. He sometimes gets 6, although he often confuses it with 8 and 9.

But if we're in the car, he'll identify the symbols for Toyota, Lexus, Honda, Acura, Mercedes, BMW, VW, Nissan, Audi, and Ford.

I guess you can tell what his priorities are.

Clarice

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Mustache Party


We were invited to a birthday party a few weeks ago. Our friend, having a sense of humor, decided to make it a mustache themed party. She encouraged men to grow their own mustaches and included mustaches for those unable to grow their own. Ian got busy growing his mustache, which only took two days (so different from the two months it used to take for my brother to grow 13 hairs on his chin and 22 on his upper lip). Our friend included two mustaches in our invitation so we assumed that meant that Jackson was invited also.

Alas, when the big day came, it didn't work out to bring the family. The little one wasn't quite ready for her first grown up party where BYOB was posted on the invitation. But we did comply with our friend's request to take pictures and send to her.

So this is how we would have looked had we attended the mustache party:





Jackson had this to say in the aftermath of the photo session:



Translation for those of you who don't speak toddler: "I don't like mustaches. Happy Birthday, Aunt Sandra."

Clarice

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

At one month

We took the kids to a going away party for a friend last Saturday night. Someone commented that it seemed like we got out pretty soon after the births of both kids. I replied that we took our time with Jackson. First time parents, we were cautious and overprotective. Plus, there's something magical about being confined for one month in what I think must be some kind of Chinese tradition. But with this second kid, we were definitely more comfortable getting out and about that first month. After all, Kiran was more likely to catch some kind of virus from her brother than from any adult we would contact. Case in point...

At one month of age Jackson had been out...
-to his pediatrician's office twice
-to his grandparents' home
-to our accountant's office (he was born in the heat of our preparation for our tax return)
-to a restaurant in Venice so his other grandparents could get out of the house

At one month of age Kiran had been out...
-to her pediatrician's office twice
-to her grandparents' home
-to two restaurants so her parents could get out of the house
-to three movies
-to her buddy Marley's house
-to her buddy Judah's house
-to Target to buy baby supplies for her cousin Riley
-to the hospital twice to visit her Aunt Amy while awaiting her cousin Riley
-to church
-to a birthday party for Jackson's friend Jeremy
...there are probably more events I've forgotten. At any rate, the whole new baby shock has obviously worn out with Kiran. Wonder what would happen if we DID have a third kid.

Clarice

Large, Medium, and Small

Jackson spends most of his time with kids his age (and size) and adults. Until recently, whenever I thought of him in terms of size, I always thought of him as being so little - especially next to his 6'4" tall daddy. But when Kiran joined our family, I started realizing how big Jackson has grown to be. She was this teeny little bug next to him. Then my nephew Riley was born one month and one day after Kiran was born. He was 5 weeks early and 2 lbs, 4 oz lighter than her birth weight. That's when I realized that she wasn't so tiny any more. And Jackson is gigantic next to him.

Here are the 3 Law grandchildren side by side. 27 months old, 4 weeks old, 1 day old. Large, medium, and small. Or perhaps Small, Extra Small, and Extra Extra Small.


Clarice

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Update on the Valiant Little Dog

My very special nephew, who I told y'all about here, made his grand appearance yesterday. He made it to 35 weeks, arriving just 5 weeks early. Lung development was obviously complete as he came out screaming like a banshee. I got to be there to welcome him. He's a cute little thing. Here he is, wrapped up like a little burrito....


Thank you all for your prayers!! More pictures at our web gallery here

Clarice

Channeling Sean Penn


Get that camera out of my face!!!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Second Time Around

Today is the one month anniversary of the addition of Kiran to our family. It's been an amazing time.

Sometime early in the past month, my mom suggested that it seemed that I had bonded more rapidly with Kiran than I had with Jackson. I had to admit that it was true. I felt a pang of guilt for a moment, realizing that I had already violated the equal treatment ideal I thought we might want to pursue (can that happen with one son and one daughter?). But then I realized that bonding more quickly with Kiran wasn't necessarily the sign of a bad thing.

We got pregnant the first time 4 months into our marriage. It certainly wasn't planned. The baby was definitely wanted and hoped for, but not planned for at that particular time. Jackson was born just a few days after our first anniversary. Quite honestly, Ian and I had a hard time adjusting. We were still getting used to the idea of being married, having wed in our mid to late 30s, and having been rather set in our ways. We were getting used to the loss of independence and the addition of teaming. And I was just settling into a new role at work. So when Jackson came, my mind (and Ian's) was elsewhere. I don't know if I really bonded with Jackson until he started interacting with us. Until then, he was just a eating, pooping, sleeping machine. But this second time around I feel like I have fully embraced marriage (it's a blast!!) and parenthood (also a blast, albeit the hardest fun I've ever had). So bonding with Kiran is just an indicator of my overall state of mind...and that's a good thing for the family.

But something specific happened the morning Kiran was born that initiated the bonding process with her. Actually, it started the night before. Ian had a meeting so I was alone with Jackson and our night-time routine. I honestly can't remember the details of the evening. I just remember that it was awful. I think Jackson cried through his bath and resisted going to bed. He wouldn't go to sleep with me holding his hand or patting/rubbing his back or singing to him...nothing worked with me in the room. He kept coming out of his toddler bed so I ended up putting him in the crib that was transitioning from being his to hers. Then he would cry at the top of his lungs if I left the room. If I moved him back to his toddler bed, he was out again, but crying. It went on for close to two hours and I knew he was exhausted and really needed to sleep. I was exhausted and was feeling heavy and uncomfortable in my pregnant state. I think he finally cried himself to sleep. I felt like I wanted to cry myself to sleep. I was emotionally drained since Jackson hadn't had a night like that in over a year. Ian came home a bit later. We caught up and finally went to bed after midnight, with me worrying about the fact that I was exhausted from the difficult evening with Jackson, but still had to be in Inglewood at 8:00 AM to supervise students in the clinic.

I never made it down to Inglewood in the morning. Instead, I was awakened at 4:20 AM by what I thought were the Braxton-Hicks "practice" contractions, which I'd been experiencing nearly daily for the past month, particularly when tired or stressed. I spent about an hour trying to ignore the discomfort. Then I starting thinking that I probably shouldn't go to work and got up to set into action a "Plan B" for covering my work responsibilities. By 6:30 AM, I had an inkling that I might actually be in labor and not just having false contractions, but I figured I would need more time to confirm. After I did what I thought I needed to do for work, I felt compelled to go into Jackson's room. I sat next to his crib for about five minutes just watching him sleep. He surprised me by awakening suddenly, much earlier than his usual 7:00 to 7:30 wakeup time, even more unusual considering his very late bedtime. He sat up quietly and just held up his arms to be held. So I pulled him out of the crib and held him on my lap. This was a rare move for him. Unlike his normal morning practice of humoring me with a brief kiss before launching into a monologue about cars and trucks, he just sat there and hugged me back. It was such a powerful moment. In fact, every time I think of it, even a month later, I get weepy. And I'm generally not a weepy person.

In that brief period of time, many things happened. I think I realized that this was probably the last morning Jackson would have as an only child. I felt a sorrow that he would no longer have our undivided attention, but would be sharing it with another child. But at the same time, I was realizing that much of his life he never actually had our undivided attention because both Ian and I are people with strong senses of responsibility to our work and to what we think God has called us to. So I mourned that we had missed a lot of moments in his life while we were busy anticipating and moving toward some unknown future. And I mourned that the previous night, my last night alone with him, was such an awful experience for both of us. And while he sat there on my lap, uncharacteristically returning my five minute hug, I started bawling (also uncharacteristically...perhaps I can blame it on the hormones of pregnancy). It was the rivers-of-tears-flowing-down-the-face, snotty-nose, uncontrollable-sobbing kind of bawling. And my boy knew something was happening. He looked up at me and held my face in his hands and asked "Mommy cwying?". Then the moment passed. I don't remember what happened next, but it was probably a conversation about what he wanted to play with before going to school.

I don't know that my thoughts crystallized in that particular moment, but this second time around I have come to realize that I can choose to mourn lost time with Jackson, or I can choose to cherish time to come with both Jackson and Kiran. So, yes, I feel much more bonded to Kiran than I did to Jackson when he was the same age. I know I need to be responsible to my work, but I commit to prioritizing my family. I don't want to just do for them, I want to be with them. I want to enjoy the present I have with them instead of focusing so hard on the future I may have with them and apart from them.

It's kind of funny/ironic. For years, I had this mantra I would quote to people - "enjoy the time". I think it's the lesson I needed to acknowledge that my moment with Jackson reminded me of. I intend to enjoy my time this second time around.

Clarice