Being vs. Doing

When I observe Jackson, he doesn’t do anything. Yet. He just is.

Jackson likes to wake up and stare, coo and suck his thumb. He loves smiling at people and studying faces. Later in the day he giggles at himself in the mirror, shadow boxes his piano, shrieks and squawks in joy and boredom, lifts his legs, lowers them, etc. At the end of each waking period, he slows down, puts on his “duh” face and drools. He isn’t productive. He isn’t efficient. He doesn’t appear to be making the most of the day that God has made, like we adults strive for. He is just a little being who simply enjoys “being.”

Me, on the other hand, can’t stand just "being" for too long. Life is too short. I’ve got bills to pay, dreams to fulfill. There are a few times when I can veg out. When I’ve worked several weeks on a project at breakneck pace, I have a hard time relaxing. I’m still in "do" mode for a few days. Unless I’m burnt out and then I may lounge for a week. But before long, I’m back on task again. I think God calls me to be productive and proactive, wise with the use of my time.

But God also calls us to "be" and stop trying so hard to do our own thing. That’s why the Beattitudes in Matthew 5 and Luke 6 are not the do-attitudes. That’s why Jesus chided Martha who complained of having to work while her sister Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. Mary was a doer, but Jesus said it was better for Martha to spend time with him. That’s also why He said we should become like little children. We are called to be people of character and to enjoy our God.

Guys actually have the ability to “be” in a way that is special to guys - and gals seem to have trouble comprehending this ability. As Dana Evans confirmed on Sunday in the food court, guys actually have the ability to think about nothing. When I was dating Clarice, she once asked me what I was thinking about. I must have had a blank “duh” stare on my face, although I prefer to think of it as a pleasant, contemplative complexion. I actually was thinking about nothing, but “nothing” is an unacceptable response and she must have thought I had something to hide. This is one of those arguments that you can never win because if you plead your case too hard that you were actually thinking of nothing at all for a moment, just vegging out in a relaxive state, then it has negative character and mental health connotations. I suppose even simply thinking of “nothing” has mental health connotations. When Dana mentioned that the ability guys have to think about nothing is the last thing in the world that makes sense to a woman, I felt vindicated. Perhaps this is our way of “being” in a world full of “doing.” Perhaps it’s a guy thing and gals wouldn’t understand.

Apparently, it’s also a baby thing. At least a baby-boy thing. I’m just glad to know that Jackson is like his father. And I'm grateful I don't drool like my son. At the end of a long, fulfilling day of doing, we can just “be” for a moment.